Eyes the color of a winter crystal.

Arizona comes with a lack of civilization pre-installed.

"When Gerhardt was born, the doctor told his mother and cousin that he would either live for 15 minutes or 100 years. Boy, he proved them all wrong."

"Most people in his situation would be angry with his family for the centuries of inbreeding, but not Gerhardt. He's too busy trying to stave off infection."

"I need help getting water to my garden."

Gigantic Asses is best seen in the original print format.

Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which Kristen Schaal will not put.

[RV slowly moves across America]

ICU81MI

"You're a family of soup haters! What have I done?"

"I dunno, I think girls really like being deceived."

"I already told you, I'm not go-go dancing."

Algebraic!

Mathematical!

It's so dense, every comment has so many things going on.

"I have Parks and Rec experience too, @drclinthandsome:disqus, and I'm better than him at the French Horn." - Chris Bosh

"As long as there is more ghost-sex, I am fine with this." - Dan Aykroyd, on the Ghostbusters sequel

A wild 'Big Red Yes' appears!

This is literally the first news story that comes up when you google 'Guillermo del Toro':

"If the people of New Zealand want to be part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islands, and push 'em closer." - Lewis Black