The AV Club

Kiwis

[With a Spanish accent] Hello? The Shire is open for business! Who are you to resist it, huh?! C'mon, my last paycheck bounced! My children need sangria! [Swears in Spanish]

The unemployed Orcs do need the work.

"The A.V. Club’s Precogs"

I have the special effects team from Twilight Zone: The Movie on line two.

He was the best part of Premium Rush:

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm pretty sure Brownback qualifies as a weapon of mass-destruction at this point.

We spell (and in Russell's case pronounce) our names differently.

"How could this have happened? We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but instead it ended in tragedy."

You live in Indiana too?

He doesn't even look like me!

"Christian god of love and forgiveness and satisfying justice."

We would have also accepted "roll him up in a carpet and throw him off a bridge".

[Jimmy Savile continues burning in hell]

Because it came out 25 years ago?

If Travolta stands outside for too long his hair will melt like a crayon in the backseat of a hot car.

HAIL ZORP!

If you watch the original video she's blinking in Morse code.

"John Travolta isn't gay, I had sex with him and he only cried once." - Kelly Preston