When Ferguson PD left Michael Brown’s body to rot in the summer sun, they were sending a message to the neighborhood (we don’t care about minorities and might kill you for jaywalking). Covering the van sends a similar message to a different audience (we care very much about MAGAts and don’t want them blamed for this) .…

Excuse me, you misspelled Jake Jortles.

They’re on top of the world and are in control of the whole game, but can’t stop playing the victim card and whining like pathetic losers about how much everyone is out to get them. It’s not only annoying, it’s completely counterproductive, as they’re going to wake up soon on the bottom of the world, with no one to…

Try the Mexican hot chocolate at the Small Point Cafe in Providence, downcity on Westminster

You can fucking have them, Worcester. My state offered them a complete renovation of a city center less than two miles from their current location and almost $40 million in taxpayer funds — but it wasn’t enough.

The most marvelous gas cap of all:

Yeah. Maybe if we make it through this eventually it will be “funny”. But now? Its a goddamned nightmare and its astounding to me that nobody in Washington seems to have an inkling of an idea of what to do about it. Pretty much the entire Senate voted against these tariffs and yet Trump is going right along with it…

Florida man, Florida man
Doing the things a Floridian can
What’s he like? It’s not important
Florida man

As long as we’re discussing current sci-fi movie cars, the “Chariot” buggies from Netflix “Lost in Space” are way cooler. They have more ground clearance and gull wing doors. Everybody knows cars of the future have gull wing doors.

I know you’re joking because dark chocolate peanut butter cups are literally the best thing on this cursed rock.

[Note: The Duke is the official name of the NFL game ball; Luck wasn’t asked if he was throwing John Wayne around.]

Slip joint pliers, the angled kind that open wide. Great for grabbing that stubborn foil that seals bottles and pulling ring-top carton seals.

I got 1K stars on the old Gawker for saying I hoped he died screaming.

Because all of his fucking snowflake followers think that he can do no wrong. Everything he does is AWESOME!!!! Any notion otherwise, is FAKE NEWS!

Tough decision. His heart is between a rock and a hard place.

Meanwhile, a billion years in the future...

The diversity in that picture is astounding . There are fat white men, slightly fatter white men, white women, and maybe even a few white people without a morbid amount of body fat. It think I may even see one really blurry black guy in the far, far back. I guess we will never know how Walker, Trump, and Ryan got…

I legit just said that on Twitter.

Thanks to racism, defending yourself while black can potentially look worse than some grown man groping you.

I was thinking of this one, which is probably the OG of stupid internet car selling videos.