I asked my wife if she’d tell people I’m not Hitler. She asked me if that meant I was finally going to shave that stupid mustache. It’s always something, isn’t it?

BUT IF WE DIDN’T, WE MIGHT HAVE TO ASK WHY IT’S SO EASY FOR A HORNY RAGE-MONSTER TO HAVE A GUN.

I don’t doubt the NBA would love their pets in OKC to win big to justify their role in stealing the team away from their original city.

As everyone knows, Kristol got his start in punditing in early 1969 when, in an argument with Joe Namath in Miami, he guaranteed the Colts would win Super Bowl III.

Hell, I could swear the other day I saw a bumper sticker reading, Trump 2016: You like farts, bitch?!

Plus I remember this time he visited the White House, and afterward Fox Nuuz had him on in hopes of getting him to trash the First Lady’s efforts to get kids to eat non-shitty food. And there he was on That network, talking about how much respect he has for Mrs. Obama - one of the politest FUs I’ve heard of.

Does this mean Toledo is Shelbyville?

Plus, don’t forget ESPN is the network that thought hiring Rush Limbaugh would be a good idea. They don’t get credit for realizing quickly how wrong they were.

Oh, the huge manatees!

Same. On the other hand, they “strongly object” to their product being used for executions after being cool with it for how many years???

“Team is supposed to be called the Black Knights.”

In which case it sure is awesomely freedomy that he was able to get ahold of so many guns.

It’s a victimless crime, like punching someone in the dark.

After reading Deadpsin’s articles, I’m almost tempted to tune in to this Hot Takes Matter show just to see if it’s as terrible as it’s being built up to be.

Nope. Every issue has two sides, no more and no less. That’s journamalism.

Geez, way to go pointing out a redeeming quality of Bieber’s. Buzzkill.

Lang’s retort: “You, sir, have the boorish manners of a Yalie.”

“You won’t believe what I just saw,” one of those coaches blurted out after bursting into a room filled with Penn State football staff.

Exactly: Most people like sandwiches. Turns out that’s the one mainstream position he holds.

Plus they anointed themselves “America’s Super Team!!!” I mean, even the Dallas Cowpies were given that title by sports honks rather than making it up themselves, weren’t they?