Wait, what aboot the CFL?

Right? I mean, what else does one wank? And yet it sounds so damn perfect.

Unfortunately, I doubt it. Pete Carroll seems to be the one person sold on the notion that Bevell knows what the hell he’s doing.

“To this day, I think what drove that call was a comprehensive desire to hoist Russell Wilson up as the hero”

it took me a few moments to process what had happened - all I could tell at first was that the wrong team was happy.

Just make sure all your eligible friends and relatives get out and vote, especially in off-year elections.

Why doesn’t that sack of festering crap run for fucking mayor of Oklahoma Shitty, since the old pigfucker loves that fucking dump so damn much?

“What the fuck is up with joint practice, isn’t that called a preseason game?”

“Child abuse”??? I believe it’s fair to say that the backlash against participation awards has officially gotten dumber and more obnoxious than the awards themselves ever were.

Millennials?

“Converting oxygen to carbon dioxide while conscious?”

The bass player, he looks nervous, about the girls outside...

A person needs to know their limitations. I’ll probably have to skip the Seahawks edition of this series, or this is gonna be me in a couple weeks.

See, I think the fact that they were so damn obvious and cynical about it is exactly why they should get in trouble.

Went out to dinner last night, but I couldn’t get what I wanted. Reminded me of the song You Can’t Always Get What You Want.

Eh, as long as those schmoes QBing for the Cardinals after Carson Palmer got hurt last season are still in the league, that would be just as delusional.

And in RGIII’s case, I think it’s especially preferable to his being brutally honest with himself, if he wants to keep going: “I was pretty good until I blew up my knee in that playoff game. Kind of a bummer when you think about it.”

Skip Bayless’ dry cleaner is torn between knowing he’s finally going to be able to afford that swimming pool, and dreading how he’s going to earn it.

Nah, they just knew preseason games suck balls.

“Obama was not using his weather controlling machine to fix the droughts.... was it to break the spirit of the red-state republicans?”