It’s true. Nothing any right winger has ever done is bad because Lena Dunham.

Question: On hot days, do you bring in a Relief Dog, or assume that if the dog decides it’s too hot to give a shit where the ball is, the humans should take a hint?

“Maybe Wambach should be a super-sub instead”

“2.) Soccer - cut the field in half, or maybe a 1/3. and also make the goal smaller at the same time”

“Siddown, ya whippersnappers, and leave the feuding to those who know how it’s done.”

It sounds like something Bob Newhart would do (a basic stand-up schtick of his was doing half a conversation ands letting the audience’s imagination fill in the other half), but I didn’t know about that.

You just don’t see such ridiculously one-sided mismatches in MLS.

I suppose that would have to depend on the politician.

Angerer? Sure, the Thorns hardly ever give up goals since they signed her.

This brings up an important question that is too rarely discussed: What do athletes do when they have to go to the bathroom during the game? I understand distance runners just go in their shorts, and it’s easy to find photographic evidence via google. I always thought for football there should just be a port-a-pot on…

Yeah, no question about that goal being legit.

I thought the penalty call looked iffy at best. Some people from either team run into each other and hey, presto - home cooking!

I’m somebody, and I’m interested in women’s soccer. Feel free to fuck the hell off.

Yeah, but doesn’t not owning any of them help at least some?

Well, damn. You’re telling me my 10th grade biology class didn’t teach me everything there was to know about this subject???

I agree. I don’t entirely get it either: Doesn’t Caitlyn Jenner still have Y chromosomes? But it isn’t Caitlyn Jenner’s responsibility for me to get it: She has the same right to live her damn life as everyone else, to make a living and live where she lives and with whom she lives. And to pee and poop without everyone…

The Wall Street Journal on the other hand will have another installment in its series entitled “White People Be Like Oppressed and Awesome.”

When I was in the fifth grade, the height of wit was:

I’m just surprised it wasn’t Florida.

Also, anything FOX gets wrong isn’t really wrong, because Lena Dunham.