Non-obnoxious fans don’t spend paragraphs talking about how great they are at being fans. That’s why nobody likes the Cubs.

Sam Hinkie: American Psycho

The whole letter started veering into American Psycho territory at that point.

That last line implies that Greg Hardy can read.

To be fair, last year they were working with a geriatric and Johnny “scramble aimlessly before getting caught from behind” Football

+1 wasted draft pick

It’s like you forgot the Browns exist.

Its always amazing to watch Pirlo take command like that. #legend

Between the article and your additions, I’m now stuck in a middle/high school nostalgia loop

I think you might just be onto something here, way to crack the case.

+1 cringe and nervous laugh

So, Boise State?

The president of my fraternity house would bust into our rooms my freshman year and drunkenly give us speeches about the many benefits of wearing dad jackets to bars, because “women either love their dads or hate their dads, so it works for you both ways”

“I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid you can’t do that.” - Hal 9000: TV Sobriety Bot

Thank you for this.

+6 shots in the back

This is good kinja.

This is a very good analogy

A plastic surgery budget can only stretch so far.

OK, how about my equally dumb, impractical improvement for this very dumb, very impractical play? Send out your starting QB (or a backup for added strategery) in place of your punter. Make sure your gunners are halfway decent WRs. Assuming you can get the snap off before the other team can notice the QB playing…