Now I’m wondering if Ellie was going for more of a haiku vibe.

But won’t you have too little space for the poor budgies? 

We were just watching some track event, and my inlaws kept saying how the women runners were “absolute men.” Like 50 times, with my kids in the room. I said “No, they’re not, and they don’t even vaguely look like men.” Welp, that didn’t work.

I always thought that the ‘man-’ prefix was derogatory, actually.

Ellie, can you finish the Dr Seuss rhyme? Something like:

How is northern Europe this time of year?

Also known by its acronym.

“Life will go on as it has always gone on—that is, badly.”

And wearing an undershirt in summer is insanity.

Unless your shoes are sandals, in which case: don’t.

To all the zucchini-bashers:

It’s ok that you’re wrong about mustard, you clearly weren’t raised well. The right ranking is:

Cersei, are you drinking yet another Mountain Dew?

Shut up, Rose.

Wait, who is this Mace Windu guy? Was he in one of the Star Wars movies?

So you’re saying Luke’s accent is a Rim job?

The picture under the headline, which has a gold-plated Lea Remini at an awards ceremony.

I guess Walmart is going to be the butt of a lot of jokes. But they seem to have a handle on it now.

Highly tangential, but doesn’t Lea’s makeup in the picture above remind anyone of Bowie’s Ashes to Ashes video?

Awww.