Do you carry a handgun? Then yes.

“I dont know what more she could want?”

Calm down.

It was Star Lord’s plan, just saying.

I feel like my heart got punched in the testicles.

I feel like iced tea is also a no while pregnant.  Sprite?

She was probably mentally composing a letter about “The time she ordered an agua fresca that tasted funny and wanted to know if she should be more angry” and then realized she got to write a more dramatic letter.

Babies are very much like an Etch A Sketch

“SEND IT BACK YOU WEAK IDIOT”

Oh for fuck’s sake. One-third of a shitty beer isn’t going to give your kid fetal alcohol syndrome. And if the drink you received tasted “odd,” SEND IT BACK YOU WEAK IDIOT. You are the customer and you have every right to receive what you ordered.

This baby is ruined. Throw it away and start over.

I grew up in the 80s so really there is only once choice, that being

It’s probably easier to ask people how old they are

Hello frothing insane internet rando. The house we bought has been standing here for over 30 years; we destroyed nothing by moving into it. We’ve spent thousands of dollars attempting to replace some of the forest the neighbors destroyed. And the calamities you’re rooting for would be much worse for the wildlife here…

How to load the dishwasher. I swear to god, she’s like Heath Ledger’s fucking Joker. Just chaos.

There should be an app for that. Make it so, Internet.

I read the chart as "bald works for any face shape". That's why there is a bald head displayed for each one.

screw that, I'm a big fan of the crazed scientist look