I don’t even think they had mailed the fucking computer back yet. 

Me either. 

Tucker Carlson is the most “San Diego Wypipo” a person could possibly ever be. 

Not exactly a CP time story, but still my favorite “how the fuck did I make this flight” story: several years ago I was flying from NYC to San Francisco to meet my fiancée’s family, departing out of JFK. I used to only fly Delta, so I usually flew in and out of LaGuardia and I definitely made a mental note that I was…

He’s there to teach black people to hate gay people, whom his god tells him he hates more than black people. 

Cops aren’t people so black cops aren’t black people. 

I still have a bit of instinctual revulsion at seeing an old lady (any old lady) fucked up on the sidewalk like that, but got damn what the fuck these white people on that they think they can just pull this kind of shit on a DC bus?????

Omarosa is the black Megyn Kelly. 

Precisely. This is how very, very stupid criminals think they are covering their asses. I’m surprised she didn’t say, “You know if you’re working with law enforcement you have to tell me, right?”

Incompetence was always going to be our best bet. The simple fact that this administration, with its constant braying about leaks and internal security, let Oma-fucking-rosa outsmart them and record a bunch of extremely classified/embarrassing/criminal shit really shows you how stone cold stupid all of these people…

I just need to give a shout out to my (white) boy, Ken Garito, for his stellar spit take. Ken chewed this role up. I love how Spike is more committed to using people he likes, rather than who might be the best actor, but Ken also was fucking perfect for this role. 

There’s no reason to have your windows down at those speeds. A/C use is more efficient than the drag caused by the windows. It shouldn’t be a huge problem. 

Horses can swim, and love it. 

It was literally the only thing I ever watched on Fuse, but I watched it every time I saw it on. 

Drake can’t handle the Queen Diva. He knows it. 

Precisely. They’re not used to property asserting itself. Slow train a-comin’. 

Azealia’s shit ain’t never gonna change because she ain’t never gonna wash her own ass. Her only real claim to fame is having her picture in the dictionary next to “tired,” “triflin’,” and “who?” 

Fuck you, clown. 

That’s some apathy I can get behind!

I don’t know who Katie Rife is, but I am 100% certain I am the friend she is referring to. That’s super weird.