ba-dum-tssss*

if he keeps playing this brilliantly we’ll have to call him Fred Zeppelin

Lifelong Cleveland Indians fan here.

What I hate most about the Yankees is that Brett Kavanaugh is only 53 years old.

That’s also the National Day of Prayer.*

Pennsyltucky is Steelers territory. Philadelphia and its surrounding counties are consistently blue voters.

On the one hand, this punishment seems a bit light. On the other hand, at least he didn’t let a couple of players get free tattoos. 

This is 100 percent accurate.

The New York Mets would like you to hold their beer.

I don’t want to publicly litigate every single half truth in these things, because getting into a rock fight on the internet with Deadspin usually leaves no winners

It bugs me whenever I read something to the effect of “Before Coach X arrived, Team Y’s last bowl appearance was 1962". Yeah, no shit. There used to be like 5 bowl games and now there are approximately 175 bowl games. A bowl appearance is not a legitimate measure of success. </raining on parade>

You think Goose is afraid of a little pain? You think his balls aren’t made of PURE WROUGHT AMERICAN STEEL, *forged in the fire of good old-fashioned hard-nosed competition and cooled with the sweat of a hard day’s work? Bitch.

Yeah, crazy how people have more respect for the dead than that.

I dunno, after today the White Sox will no longer have the No. 1 prospect in the minor leagues. Looks to me like they’re trending in the wrong direction.

He’s going through the motions worse than James Harden of the (city) (team) on defense.

The most post-ironic millennial social media doo-dad post ever.

The Mets window is also closed, but only because if it were open someone would fall out and get placed on the DL.

‘AH FACK ME, THIS GUY HEEYA HAS NO IDEA WAH HE’S TALHKIN ABOUT, GET ME SOME PEPERIDGE FAHMS I’M DONE.’

I would agree to this if MLB also agreed to outlaw the Boston accent

I would argue that we should set Boston adrift into the Atlantic but then I remembered that Foxboro is technically not Boston and is further inland and the whole thing would somehow just make Boston fans more insufferable than they already are. Which would be a feat in and of itself given that they are already…