I feel like Bam Margera is responsible for all of this...somehow...

There is a very strong part of me that wants to become this guys friend. Get in the “inner inner” circle of his army. Become a general. A very respected and important member.

OK, I call bullshit:

You know, I have heard all the explanations about how it is impossible or unethical to diagnose a mental disorder when someone is not your patient and you haven’t interviewed them personally... but isn’t this really an exception to that rule? I mean, the guy is totally unfiltered. He might as well be sitting on every…

You can throw massive amounts of drugs on my head all day. I will not tell anyone.

Police: “Freeze!”

How come women can’t go sleeveless when Paul Ryan is allowed to go spineless?

Pointing to God as a role model is fucking weak. Also, dude was an asshole in the Old Testament.

Pshhh it’s not like he drowned the whole world or asked someone to kill his son or.... wait... no...

God is one fucking hell of a shitty role model.

My father called himself a patriot for voting for Trump. My father is a fucking idiot.

Funny story: in like 1999, one of the last years the giants were at candlestick, my dad took my brother and me to a game against the reds. I wanna say it was like July or august, but the game was meaningless and was 3/4 empty. We were sitting top deck first row. Now, my dad had been going to giants games his whole…

Little known fact: this is how the Forester was born.

Doesn’t matter had sex.

Why would there be? It’s not like they’d get brownie points for admitting it.

Marijuana wasn’t the only thing in the Cavs locker room that got smoked.

Are you implying this odor is indica-tive of Cleveland’s focus and preparation? 

Another good thing is we don’t have a large AF base in Qatar that we have been operating out of for years. If we did, that would be awkward........