That asshole has taken a fat dump at every company he’s been at the helm of. Fuck him. I worked at Home Depot during his shitshow there.

I would love my commute to work if it was a street race everytime. I’m tired of taking 20 min to drive 7 miles.

Sometimes this job is the worst, isn’t it?

Sometimes this job is the worst, isn’t it?

That was amazing. Well done.

I used worse words in my head when I took my 2 yr old to Disneyland.

My hate for these customers is immeasurable.

Too soon, bro. Too soon.

Fuck that guy and his Youtube ads.

Just remember to lock the door this time.

Just remember to lock the door this time.

Yeah. At least those teenagers have the decency to reserve a study room and have quiet sex in there.

At my wife’s library, they had a recent kidnapping of a toddler. Fortunately, they nabbed the guy an hour later. The positive side effect is that parents are less likely to drop their kids off at the library as free daycare now.

“Oh her? She’s just my Nepalese pen pal I’ve had since 3rd grade.”

A couple years ago, I got my father-in-law a Samsung S3 which had decent recording. He went to a concert a couple weeks later and spends the entire concert video recording it. On top of that, his phone spends the entire time uploading it to his Google cloud account. So he blew through his entire 2 gig data plan in a…

Your place hiring?

I enjoy watching one of my FB buddies froth at the mouth as his idol get savaged by this “witch hunt”.

You forgot about The Shining? Lucky you. I still fear it and I watched it over 15 years ago.

I’m a lazy ass parent in regards to invites. My invites come as text messages. “You busy Saturday? My 4 yr old is having a bday. I’m gonna bbq. Wanna come?”

When I was in my mid-20s and shopping for an economy car with my dad(who pays cash usually), a Ford salesman wouldn’t let me test drive a new 2002 Ford Focus. Essentially, I’d have to blindly buy the car. It was weird as fuck. Obviously, we didn’t buy the car for that reason, plus it had like 20 recalls that year.

It could work. Like cold cuts for dinner instead of a steak.

You take that back.