Talk about Koreshing my hopes and dreams, amirite?

This is gross and needs way more stars.

Easiest way for to block someone from not attending your wedding/reception? have it on an active military base. thats what i did

KITCHENETTE 4 LYFE.

Did someone say ultraviolence?

But! Exclamation! Points! After! Every! Sentence! Highlight! My! Sincerity! And! Totally! Credit! My! Position!

Again, I would like to apologize for this getting out of hand

First, I’ve cut a couple people out of my life.

True story: I had the plague last week, but my husband was only in town for 2 days this month (!!) and I thought, plague or no plague, this dude is gonna get me off.

Uh oh, I’m pretty sure the next step is trading you in for a younger husband.

How about people just stop fucking the Republicans?

That is some weird role play.

alexa is reading the articles and siri is posting my comments...its as close to group sex as i’m likely to get.

“He wanted to replace his wife in the next few years. Now he can’t.”

How about the ladies just stop fucking Republicans?

His supporters show up at the polls with guns. I think booing is totally fair.

I think they were saying “Boo-urns”!

[Magnets! How do they work? joke here]

Eating like the peasants is sooo fashionable these days.