Future Ex Mrs. Trumps.

They should call this the Future Mrs Trumps Competition.

I just had a flash-forward to my most plausible apocalypse scenario so far. Thanks!

I don’t remember who tweeted it, so I apologize for not giving credit, but there was a tweet last night along the lines of...

Putin doesn’t even marry them.

I actually truly believe that.

Yooge treason.

“Also this guy was losing the fight so pulled a gun?”

I wonder if they only get 77% of the take that male bank robbers get.

Stop lying to increase your brand awareness, Ivanka.

a congealing buffalo wing cemented to outgrown armpit hair

Soooooo... this is his way of turning down the VP slot w/o saying it out loud?

There’s only one explanation

Don't be silly, those stories were just metaphors. You have to focus on the real important stuff like floods and the world being created in 6 days. That's what really matters. (/s)

Cool. Now replicate feeding the hungry and curing the sick.

No one in this story got shot, eaten by an alligator, or busted for methamphetamine distribution, so I fail to see how this is the quintessential Florida story.

That is not true. Limiting access to guns will affect those who have a short-term down turn by removing a method with a high perceived level of certainty and short planning stage, much like limiting access to lethal drugs does.

“We need 2 female hostess/greeters, age 20-27, to work with us at the National Rifle Association Expo at the Expo Center on May 20-22....blah, blah, blah.”

I am just cynical for assuming that ALL Craigslist ads are posted by lonely MRA dudes trolling for contact info and pictures of women to harass/jerk off to?

When she reaches age 28 at midnight, a crystal in her hand starts blinking red.