“Will you be at next year’s Values Voter Summit? Hit me up at screen name ‘DoYouLikeGladiatorMoviesTimmy’”

“Raging” is right. He looks like he’s primed to be a future wife-beater since he’s now completely steeped in denial and self-loathing. No way that gasket is gonna blow. Nope, he’s Norman Rockwell approved man’s man now.

Bingo.

I’ll say this in Christie’s defense (because his boss’s campaign has set the bar that low) — at least he told Flynn to shut up.

#SawMovieSpoilers

Ugh.

He’s way too busy concentrating on the “OMG, my dick is so huge” video in his head to worry about grammar.

Shut up, The Donald. A lot of people are saying you are a yooge dick.

I am torn between sympathy and schadenfreude about the eventual story of how Trump will happily spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to counter-sue a naive supporter and his tone-deaf daughters rather than paying the pittance his team implied (but never in writing) they’d get. #TrumpInANutshell #ClassicHim

Bingo. It’s not just about the money — but, hey, those Louis XIV living room sets don’t buy themselves — it’s about pissing on every leg of every establishment Manahattan type who looked down their nose at his Outer Boroughs pedigree. It always comes back to ego, and not caring about the literal trail of ruined lives…

Sorry to drag the discussion down to 8th grade level, but “furiously bootstrapping” sounds like it should be the Republican’s thinly veiled euphemism for masturbating to Atlas Shrugged. Or, more realistically, Japanese tentacle porn hidden inside a copy of Atlas Shrugged.

I knew as a follower of Christ...

Pfft. Unless he ups his game and stabs somebody, the Ben Carson story still spanks it hands down.

#Trump’sNewDoctor

Precisely. Hillary is addressing everyone she needs to build a winning, clunky, fractious, Benneton ad of a coalition in order to win. Trump will continue to only talk to fans willing to deep throat him like washed up D list celebs on The Apprentice.

Not stupid per se, he’s a damn good con man. But because of his Olympian-level narcissism, his ego is writing checks his brain can’t cash. He has no problem riling up his base of angry rubes because that’s just selling suckers a shitty product, something at which The Donald excels. But he’s completely unable to…

Not Steve Doocy — the one who looks like he used to be a high school jock and definitely has a basement torture chamber/porn theater?

So basically the Trump Train is when you hitch several dumpster fires together and drive them straight off a cliff while loudly proclaiming “I’m the best driver!”

So the Trump campaign has entered its Pee-Wee Herman “I Know You Are But What Am I” phase?
(No offense to Paul Reubens!)

With a little “Stop the Planet of the Apes, I want to get off” thrown in for good measure.