Lyin’ Ted blows his load early for Carly. Sad.

Painted on the mug:
Carol Cheryl Tunt is my spirit animal. Duh!

So is Ted announcing “Missionary Only” is a platform plank, or just threatening to roofie the Statue of Liberty?

Ted Cruz: The Candidate America Deserves Because She Drinks Too Much and Dresses Like a Slut

So ipso facto the ‘real men’ of Texas are completely unable to satisfy their women (how is calling them godless sluts during sex not a sure fire aphrodisiac!?) so said women are turning to each other and sex toys instead.

I had that example in the back of my mind as well. Phyllis is another top-shelf hypocrite who needs a hot, steaming cup of STFU.

Yeah, but the choice should be you can be an independent, high-powered business exec or a Duggar wife or anything you choose on the spectrum in between. Not, you can be a Duggar wife or...a slightly different type of Duggar wife because that’s what God intended and your husband knows best so shut up and keep making…

Yes, the first sentence is not entirely untrue — a bloody miracle for anything Carly says. And she then procedes to shit all over the actual goals of feminism by only pointing out the choices a woman could make that conform to Republican, Christian, patricarchal view of women’s proper roles. And by giving her bizarro…

I was just about to say that...

They just hate all white women who are not their mistresses and who want to have non-procreative sex.

Touche!

Where

And this august body will also be weighing in to oppose the death penalty in the state next, right? Right?

Trump 2016
Bros Before Hoes

Maybe Caitlin Jenner can talk to that person about being Trans Ambassador.

Apparently the Republicans have succeeded in shrinking governement down to the size where it can easily be inserted into a vagina. Because let’s face it ladies, you adorable little featherheads certainly can’t make those decisions for yourselves. LOL. Now, who is making me a sammich?

Sadly, we’ll all die in a nuclear missle exchange because I guarantee those two narciscisstic man-babies would get into a fight at a state dinner about who’s trophy wife is hotter and refuse to back down even if it meant nuking half the planet into glass.

At a guess (normal liberal white dude here) it must be like a sailboat running before a storm, or skiing in front of an avalanche. It’s an incredible rush and you go faster and farther than you ever imagined. And then disaster strikes and the rescue helicopter only picks up the dudes.

Congrats on getting yourself out. Welcome to wherever on the spectrum you chose to land.

Great, and now I'm picturing a retro style video of monks doing the Hustle. ;-)