Look, I don’t wish divorce on anyone (been there, done that, paid a lawyer for the t-shirt) but I can’t help but think there’s only two ways this plays out. Either a long, happy and insular life together scrupulously avoiding living near or talking to people who don’t share whatever world view makes them want to hang…

Referred to in ancient Aramaic texts as Baal Stabbin.

Shhh. Shut up, SpringSprung — I’ve got a really sweet and marginally legal business selling “Anti ChemTrail” fans and spray bottles to Tea Party rubes. If they start listening to experts who know stuff about science and physics I’ll have to get a real job.

These need a closed caption translation SO BAD. Because nothing inspires a young worker like a glassy-eyed woman in a sequined minidress exhorting him to:

All of which are probably better options than having to answer the Dear Leader’s booty call after he’s binged some Japanese tentacle porn.

Just use your normal screen name, Sarah Palin. ;-) Noone’s falling for that there Springy-Sprungy thing.

“Snowmen Floaters...”

“Do you know how many amendments to the Constitution there are? And that the first one doesn’t count?”

Clarification: You cannot become president by reveling in making enemies. That’s fine if you’re a single issue leader (e.g., Mr. Souless himself Wayne LaPierre) but you can’t lead the free world by happily pissing off all your potential allies (lookin’ at you, Dubya).

So the head of a “Christian” institution publicly advocated for extra-judicial murder and ethnic cleansing. I’m sure their “Prince of Peace” is suitable proud. Betting pool is officially open for when a non-white student or staff member gets shot by one of these amped up nitwits.

Standard Operating Procedure will be to either start an affair with the hot, young staffer who will be Wife #2 while Mrs. Cruz 1.0 in the hospital, or serve 1.0 with divorce papers while she’s in the hospital so he can make official his profound (*cough*), life-long committment (*cough* *gag*) to this hot, young piece…

And your Limited Liability Uterus would probably have more rights than you would as a slutzilla female person.

Point of Order: They’re only illegal without male supervision.

And the old joke bears repeating — that if there actually was an Abortion Industry, Republicans would be fighting tooth & nail to deregulate it.

Quoting Socialist Hippie Jesus ain’t gonna get you far with those folks. They are only interested in what shouty bigots say Blonde Supply Side Jesus really meant when America-hating social justice types taking his “feed to hungry/cloth the naked” musings completely out of context. Who knew all those words were Aramaic…

Not as glad as Heidi, I’m willing to bet.

Ding-ding-ding. We have a winner. This the inevitable sidekick for people who also are against real sexual education (not the perpetually failing ‘abstinance only’ approach) and unhindered access to birth control. It’s never about empowering and educating women, especially young women, to make informed choises — it’s…

Former beet hater here. Try them roasted and mixed in with a ton of other roasted root veggies and they’re not so bad. But agree — straight up by themselves I wouldn’t touch them.

I think you’ve just created a great Easter Egg for the next Elder Scrolls DLC.

I love the mental image of both grandmothers shaking their heads and muttering “See, we told you: switched in cradle by faeries” and making some obscure hand gesture to ward off evil every time the Great Beet and Cabbage Argument happens.