Pork "steak"!? WTF, St. Louis.

OK, so "caulk the wagon" is, in fact, an Oregon Trail video game reference and not some 19th century cowboy euphemism for doing frowned upon things to the old Aeronaut's Windlass while stuck out on the lonesome trail.

That's free range, grass fed, non-GMO manure to you, peasants.

No bodegas within a 5 minute walk? Well, if you're not important enough to have an intern to get it for you maybe should be spending more time not eating so you can get a promotion.

That's free range, grass fed manure to you, peasant.
Ugh. You non-fashion people. I cannot even...

A throbbing, yet stagnant cesspool of humanity funneled into a six-block radius of sensory overload.

Libertarian: Rich white asshole who...has never experienced a world without clean, running water, paved roads, non-poisonous food and a working electric grid...that is "smart" enough not to call themselves a republican.

CPAP: Unleashing the power of the marketplace to ensure that only sociopathic hedge fund managers and trust fund babies the deserving who can afford private oxygen can breathe.

Nope, those are just cheese curds. Although it is sort of a dietary Darwinian thing...

They're kinda like Mormon youngsters on their Missionary Year (or whatever it's called). They should really work together. The Libertarians are perfectly content to facilitate high mortality rates among naive and useless "takers" and the Mormons get more deceased individuals to baptize into the church post-mortem.

CPAC belatedly discovers that Arabs and liberal Jews eat hummus. Attempts to ret-con it to "Freedom Paste" in all online media in 3...2...1

I am immensely proud and impressed by these young ladies. I hope they can help put some real teeth into that law.

It's funny how the people who were the actual victims of genocide, slavery and institutionalized discrimination are steadfast advocates of keeping those facts in the curriculum lest they be forgotten and it happens all over again to them or others. While the folks who identify more with the perpetrators (*cough*white…

I feel sorry for the women's apparel check-out person she berates because only coffee can come in cups! How dare you sully the idea of cups by putting breasts in them, you hussy!

The kettle bell studio where I work out shares space with dance instructors who teach not only basic Pole Dancing, but also Pole Cardio. So fear not, Athena, there's a class for that...

Serious question. You can't mix East Coast and West Coast linguinies — it'll end in knife fights and drive-by shootings.

Game, set & match to Jdublu. Monogrammed thermos uber alles.

Barack Ebola beat me to the punch. I was going to speculate that eggplant belladonna was your basic eggplant parm with a little extra (OK — poison) in it to shut up troublesome customers.

Christian Cameron's "The Long Sword"

Yo, Auburn U. Air Force ROTC: Wanna earn some karma wings? Stick up for one of your own and maybe teach those footballs players a hard lesson in respect. Maybe seek that young lady out and get to know her because that could be you in a couple of years, too.