And what, pray tell, is "spiritual discernment"? Why, it sounds suspiciously like the skepticism that makes all of us atheists and agnostics tools of the debbil trying to destroy Christianity. Huh.

Holy shit-snacks!

Well, of course the implied sub-text is that it makes sense for somebody else's slut of a wife/daughter. Not the glassy-eyed Stepford Wives brow-beaten "traditional" helpmeets Paragons of Womanly Virtue that are the only sorts of women that bill's sponsor ever meets.

Wow, so that whole "Your rape baby is actually a gift from god" argument isn't holding up? Whodda thunk it?

Coyotes — duh!

See Jalopnik article on the brothel-running cop who rolled up to work in a Ferrari. I'm willing to bet that "Haberdasher's Fuckery" was an option on the menu at his Marylebone brothel.

We could also give it the Fight Club treatment:

Other possible burner accounts:

Kirby Delauter is very important person. Just be looking at Kirby Dealuter's monogrammed thermos. #KirbyDelauter #StupidestManOnTheInternet

It means: I, Kirby Delauter, could not pass a fucking high school civics test.

"Oily, Strange and Vacant: The Thomas Gilbert, Jr. Story"

Do we really want to live in a world where the coddled, sociopathic man-children of the top 5% are actually punished for murderously over-reacting to life's small inconveniences? I think the living would envy the dead...

Clan McVagina: Least Popular Clan Tartan at the Highland Festival

To which he replies: "Um...a Chuck E. Cheese costume." The wife then calls her husband a pervert, slaps the shit out of him and storms off to stay with her parents. After she's gone, the husband picks the phone up off the floor and asks "Where did you say the Furry convention was again?" [fade to black]

I'm pretty sure it's something fraternities are no longer allowed to force their pledges to do.

Ugh. No offense to Texas-based Jezzies, but can we please just let the old Confederate states form their Christian Caliphate of Dumbfuckistan and be done with? I'm sick to death of those people getting idiot all over other people's education.

She pretty much only knows the 2nd commandment — about how the government can't take away your guns. And maybe that other one about how it's OK to stone the gays. (Kidding, Marcus, I was kidding!)

While I agree it's a reprehensible twist of fate that a human waste product like him gets $3M, trust me it won't last long. He'll be dead or broke or both within a year. He'll be a walking case study of what happens when you give an idiot a shit-tonne of money. If not robbed and murdered for it by locals (it's Florida…

Literally 15 seconds after this becomes possible you will be able to buy a Laser Vagina kit out of a vending machine in Japan.

Who knew Patrick Bateman was a blonde in high school?