Yea but seriously fuck Mark Schlereth and all his pompous douchebaggery. He and Jaws are about on par in their analysis of the NFL. Even a broken clock is right twice and all that.

I can't lie. I had the exact same reaction.

Utley to play tonight because Mets.

And yet Dallas fans LOVE to bring up Santa Claus...though they usually mix it up with the JD Drew incident and it turns into something like “You guys threw snowballs with AAA batteries inside at the Easter Bunny.”

Agreed. There are much better hills to die on.

Before realizing that this would be a series, I almost lost my shit.

It's a tough life not being Mike Trout

If Papelbon had decided to go after Mike Trout, he would have been destroyed and Trout would have been hailed as hero across 3/4 of the continental US.

It’s a sad day when Deadspin is hitting up Reddit for material.

This kid is lucky he was black.

You leave that Amazon queen out of this conversation.

Someone had to be arrested for her husband’s performance.

The fact that this happened while playing the Phillies is embarrassing.

“not saying any official in any sport should be targeted for violence at any time, but...”

I’ve gotta ask, are the targets of Deadspin’s (and Gawker as a whole) ire just arbitrarily needing someone to pick apart?

.

• Directing the moderators’ questions to Hillary Clinton, who was not present and who is not seeking the Republican presidential nomination

Thanks for that. I legitimately thought they misspelled Dennis Rodman’s last name.

Well...he’s not lying

I might even vote Trump over Hillary. At least then we’d have 4 years of guaranteed fun and exciting journalism.