The combo LAX/Texas Dad/Lawyer is just the perfect sports parent douche combo of all time. I can picture Mom, dangling her fake, super tan double D's over a bowl of rice Krispy treats being prepped for the church bake sale.

He was robbed.

"Daddy, daddy, pay the extra hundred for the Fan Interaction package!"

Big rock, paper scissors fan? You'll love Edward Scissor Hands, omelette, penis.

She's going to be a big deal, her best songs haven't even hit the radio yet. People flipping out about her B side shit.

The prosecution now calls eleventy billion single men who will attest that their girlfriends are always in the bathroom.

You dumbasses! Don't fall for this blatant viral marketing, just go see Sixth Sense II when it hits theaters.

If you're a real hip hop head you know 2 Chairs stole most of his verses from MC Ottoman's "Rooms to Go & Hos" mix tape.

Did he leave a divot? Ball barely wiggled in the air, great goal.

If you're just joining us on Court TV, key evidence has just been admitted by the defense team in the monumental 'Golf is boring' trial.

The best part was when he won the Masters.

I hope we do better against Japan in the origami competition.

Maybe he just wanted to hear that Toto song again they played during warmups?

Medic!!!!!! We need 500 cc's of ranch dressing stat!

*thinks about open ice check on Bieber
*cums thrice

*thinks about open ice check on Bieber
*cums thrice

The last time I saw something that large covered in scales it was chasing a Hobbit.

A little Proactiv should clear that huge white head up.

Have some respect assholes, the guy just died. That's Phillip Seymour Hoffman right?

"Fuck yeah, I love that guy!" - Velcro