Wow, can't imagine how tiny that ukelele looked with a giant guy like Seau holding it. Great story about a great night.

When asked about 'nonessentials', the GSA chairman's wife replied...

Oh shit, if SI printed it...

I make great efforts to be snarky and witty, but have nothing here. I want to see a running tab for this trial, a spinning wheel of giant numbers constantly growing that reminds us we're spending millions of fucking dollars to discover if a man who had a job most of us only get to enjoy as children cheated or not.…

"We ask everyone to stop what they're doing"

Nice to hear about a situation Tebow felt comfortable passing on.

See? Take it from a local. Even inanimate objects can't take the sun here.

GM: You're fired.

Nice, looks like it doubles as a carrying handle, no more awkwardly clutching my shark when I take him places.

Fuck, no wonder this running thing isn't working, I've been listening to whale songs!

Chainsaws looks rugged, but they are pretty precision and the bar must be straight. Whack a whirring saw with a sword and that chain will not be spinning anymore. Stick and move, saw guy is doneski...

No way. I used to clear trees in Wisconsin with a chainsaw and learned katana forms when I was in martial arts in high school and college. You would have to be an uncoordinated meathead with awful reflexes if somebody was able to swing an f'ing chain saw at you before you got a swipe in with a sword that nimble.

"Good stuff Gregg, just change 'negrocentricity' to 'egocentricity' and we'll be cool. Sweet tie by the way, Steinmart?" -Editor

Nice lips Mr. Handsome, maybe you and Favre can throw in together on some collagen.

Without it? I don't understand the question. Nor do I blink often.

Life is so great, I love my job and the fact I can access Gizmodo, it's awesome to be me. Please tell me it's not the 25mg of Adderall talking.

I heard they leave the toilet seat up all the time too, assholes!!!

Thank you Japan, for solving the awful problem of having glamorous salon ladies dangling their breasts over my face as they wash and massage my scalp. The torture can now end, yay robots.

Roethlisberger said when he called David DeCastro shortly after Pittsburgh took the Stanford guard with the 24th overall selection, DeCastro began asking him about his "flight plans."

I use it for resumes and screenplays mostly, but I could totally see them choking off free users housing media.