URI...Insane party school. Best NCAA visit I ever had that I can't remember shit about.

"Kevin....Jimmy....Kyle.....David....Phillip....Mikey....Mikey from the back"

Huh, I always wondered what human milestone the aliens were waiting for to smite us. No way the earth makes it through the weekend...

Help me Obi-wan Nate Doggo. You are our only hope. To roll this blunt.

Resting heart rate of 103? Resting on what, a land mine? Well, it's not called Fitnessmodo...

"We been tryin' to tell y'all, sleeves just slow a mother fucker down."

Now trending on Giz. Titties! Boobzmodo is now in beta...

Hey Bob, get your ass out of the Spank Chamber, Synchronized Swimming in trending!!!

There's something about an absurdly rich dude using extraordinary means to house ordinary vehicles that I find admirable.

I swear officer, I was just helping the goat over the fence!

I like this because you did your due diligence and said 'things.' Hello lab created infectious diseases, please line up behind Arnold in his Buzz Lightyear North Pole exploration suit.

I'm just glad that Bane isn't on rollerblades battling George Clooney and those circus clowns in this one.

Any laptop bag that looks that much like a B.A.S.E jumping rig is cool with me, I like creating the impression that regardless of what floor the meeting is on, if I'm not feeling it..I'm OUT.

Any crime spree that starts in a haunted house needs to end with the perp pulling off a rubber face mask and exclaiming, "And I would've gotten away with it if it hadn't been for you meddling kids."

I was gonna leave a funny comment but...you win. Simply glorious.

I wasn't aware that her fiance' was an Arkansas guy too, until I saw his haircut.

It's not called "working out" just for shits and giggles.

I have a HUGE dong. Allstate totally hooked me up after my accident.

So how much is that sweet Ted Nugent personal organization app?

Careful, don't leave the the gas on near Open Source flame.