penis compensators

Oh look, South Texas gives the wearer a blackened tooth, how perfect is that.

LOL!!! I'm on Giz too much, I scanned chick's tweet and saw DSS041GP, hijacked, boot and assumed some new Android tab nobody cares about got rooted.

As a basic rule of thumb, razor blades are kept away from my penis area. Clippers are for manscaping, #2 guard.

Had a Mach 5 plunge this morning when I sneezed and dropped my razor in the toilet.

HaHa! You are right, he is. But have you seen him hit? He's a lanky dude that just uncoils, not like a Dustin Johnson type.

Mimosas. Getting hot chicks drunk on the couch before noon since 1925.

This is big news. For anyone that lives in Antoine's apartment complex, make sure you get back the DVD's dude borrowed before he bails.

Coincidentally, his press conference is being held at the Piggly Wiggly. They have a RedBox now!

"Hey Gronk, while your pullout method is totally recommended for porn star liasons so you can avoid 18 years of writing checks, toy collecting requires leaving it in the box for as long as possible to see any profits."

Damn, she's gonna need some Pantene, jet exhaust is a BITCH on your follicles. Oh yeah, and a straw. To eat out of.

Maybe in the actual 'Ballpark,' but as a Dallas resident I can tell you with confidence that $78 worth of hot dog will get you a Mexican day laborer off Craigslist who has evenings free.

Damn. Dude does whatever he wants with the golf ball, it's insane. It's like he's pitching effing wiffleball, if he was in the MLB he'd be the bastard child of Tim Wakefield and the Big Unit. For a little dude to be able to crush it like Bubba AND put mad crazy junk on the ball too when he needs...That shit cray. Fish…

Hell yeah, the Muton Leader from X-Com: UFO Defense is back! Best PC game ever...

Now I really like you, NASCAR is like watching a fish tank. Around, around, around...

Have you played? It looks boring, but it's very rewarding. I was Billy Sports my whole life and did it all, but golf is so different. Walking 18 on a beautiful day with good friends, I can't think of anything better. You could have a thousand bad shots in a round, but you hit that one sweet one that drops near the pin…

I would so much rather be me than some fat douche with millions of dollars. Don't need the cash to get girls in the hot tub. Although it would increase the volume of girls, no doubt.

LOL!!!!!! Epic fashion fail, maybe Sergey could pull this off if he looked a little less...hmmm, what's the word I'm looking for....Oh yeah, rapey.

In my personal hell, I sit in this room. With Limp Bizkit.

Stepdad took me deer hunting when I was 13, I had a nice 30/30 rifle I was very accurate with. Climbed up into deer stand, 45 minutes later a 4 point buck stopped to chow some grass about 50 yards away. Shot him behind the ear, dropped dead. Told my Stepdad, "Not sure I'm into this, not much sport involved." He smiled…