"I saw a guy at a party wearing a leather jacket and I thought, ‘That is cool.’ But then I saw another guy wearing a leather vest and I thought, ‘That is not cool’. Then I figured it out: ‘Cool’ is all about leather sleeves." - Demetri martin

I love living in Dallas, but the environment not being a priority gets old. We would have only gotten worked up over this if it was BBQ sauce.

I am on board with this, but only if it raises the toast real slow while playing the music from the beginning of 2001. Now leave me be, my toast monolith appears to be ready...

Glad we spent the oodles of cash needed to generate information any one of us who grew up even near the cold war could have freely given. We would be truly effed. But oh wait, this scientist we paid a million to says if the wind patterns are a little different on Tuesday that...never mind, we're still completely…

HaHaHaHa!!! I love Giz readers, you can practically hear the violin music by the end of this article, but when you get to comments...the 5 year old child is put through the logic meat grinder. "Seriously. Did he not know the name of his town?" LOL!!!! The interwebz, so cold, so very, very cold...

This is a Hipster HW wet dream.

That sucks, just try to roll a joint on Wikipedia :(

When Obama campaigns on this, I hope you get credit sir.

"Baby, do I look fat in this dress? Hey, what's with all the plants you've been bringing me lately by the way?"

Pocket grill, uh yeah!

Soooo, did an actual shark invent this. Because when I drag a pink wiggly thing attached to a flat piece meant to spin in the water, I call that fishing.

This tiny, grooveless George Foreman grill intrigues me.

Oh once great washed up NBA superstar with lazy eye, please guide me to superior bargains.

Alien Lord: "So how did the Earth smiting go?"

Yes, you can live until your 103 if you eat only tree bark and fresh fish. I'd rather be buried next to Bob's Chophouse when I'm 82.

"That's no moon bro. It's a...you gonna finish that sandwich?" I know I certainly saw stuff in the sky when I was in Copenhagen :)

Now you TOO can know what it's like to get a Chuck Norris hand job. First 200 callers get the free first aid kit!

Stupid Giz! LEGO's are a Sprint technology, if you've been on their 4g you would know this.

This is a no win. If you're the guy that slices the baby up, you're a sicko. If you baste it, you're a pedophile. If you leave it in the oven too long, it will burn, and then when the guests complain about the black baby you have a party full of racists!!! It's just too much for cake.

‘We got CP3!'" "Then [my best friend] and I just went straight to the bar and started taking shots."