One... Missing pet?

Lol hooter to tooter. I like that. It’s apparently quite trendy. And the hardcore carnivore hipsters are almost as insufferable as the vegan hipsters. Almost.

We recently went to a restaurant where we were told by the friend organizing the outing that we were eating basically the entire animal for dinner.

That wink. It gets me every time.

Totally hot. Totally would bone him bowlegged.

I think it was for meat or something. Mmmm, meeeeat.

He’s so weird and kinda creepy but also hot AF for no determinable reason.

Back Off, Pibber. Get your own sandwich Shia.

I agree. He would look much better without pants.

Now the Shia LaBeouf song is gonna be stuck in my head all day.

I’m a sucker for Vince Vaughan. Big and tall and cute.

Omg. NOW I’M PICTURING HIM AWKWARDLY “MOUNTING” THE PHOTO AND FEEBLY HUMPING IT ALL HERKY JERKY AND WITH NO STRIDE.

How huge and throbbing it was.

#MurderAtAnySize

I’m sorry for your loss. I’ll make sure the Jackass movies are all cued up for when you come over and a sad doggie trailer comes on.

I haven’t seen Marley And Me, but I’m betting it’s monstrous. I’m sure I’ll break down and subject myself to it. But not yet.

Thanks! He’s a little tank. It’ll take more than this to get him down.

Oh jeez, SAMANTHA!