While doing penance in summer school 1969 I was constrained by the rule that only let you miss TWO days of summer session. Having already lost one with feeling crappy, I was up against losing two to attend the 1969 Watkins Glen Can-Am/six hour FIA race. I needed to pass the classes but, hey the GLEN!!! Solution? Use…

Eh, I don’t feel a shred of sympathy for her. She put herself in the position tobe next to that slug so that she could live the life of luxury, she’s free to leave at any time.

Where I come from, most forwards hang out with shooting guards.

Seems like letting others do the shooting is just plain selfless teamwork.

You know, on revisiting this, I would like to know who he is and why he chose to do this. Like, have someone interview (what is Barbara Walter doing lately?) him in a hard-hitting, no holds barred interview. Then, we can do a reunion-like “What are they doing now?” kind of special 10 years from now. We can ask him…

A Jewish friend and I are eating at a greasy spoon in Central Illinois. The waitress lets us know how great the ham is. My buddy states that he’s Jewish and doesn’t eat pork. Her reaction: “My goodness. You don’t eat ham? What do you do for Easter?”

Alright, I’m going to try not to fly off the handle here, but regarding your thoughts that pooping out your dick wouldn’t be such a bad thing.....

Oh my god that is great. If you ever try to have a standup career, you’ve got your first joke...

Oh...oh wow.

True story, I was invited to a co-workers house one time and he offered me a delicious looking pork dish. When I declined because of lingering influences of my orthodox jewish upbringing, he got super excited and told me it was OK because he had made it with kosher salt. I tried to explain that that wasn’t how it…

Maybe we should tell Melania she has “forty more years” and see what happens.

No. She has enabled him at every turn. She gets what she deserves.

This picture taken at his SB event has been making the rounds. Perfectly sums up their relationship.

The image of Melania in a gimp box is excellent.

the big question is if the Orange Menace still has the box she came in. Apparently you can only return her in the original packaging.

We have no idea what’s in that prenup and we have no idea what’s in any current contracts between them.

I figured he had been unemployed for the last few months, and this is his latest attempt to get his resume some attention.

They go the passive aggressive route: redecorate his cubicle entirely in brown and horses.

LOL I just choked on my coffee thinking about this guy coming into work today, (If he’s not too busy battling some sort of sepsis)....does he just sit down at his desk and act like he didn’t do this? Do his co-workers quietly walk by him, awkwardly trying to figure out how to say hello, or “how was your night?” or do…

White people. Geez.