It’s been my experience that I have much greater success with women when I simply walk up and grab 'em by the pussy.

This coach’s lies makes Trump’s band of bumbling buffoons sit up and take notice.

^This....

I was half expecting Ingraham to say "In what respect, Charlie? "

I’m a 50-something man who, like everybody else, has experienced enormous joy and tragedy in my life. And as I type this I’m sitting in a coffee shop, tears running down my face, for a family I never knew.

I think only parents are giving you stars, my man.

Dom, while I appreciate the acknowledgment about the Lions, and equally obvious hot take would be to proclaim that the sun is pretty fucking hot. That said, here is the list of STARTING QUARTERBACKS for the Lions during their impressive run of absolute futility:

For the love of God, and your unborn child, do NOT allow him/her to be a Lions fan. That's like encouraging him to collect Betamax tapes.

Sick SOB.

Jesus. And I thought I had a bad Friday. 

Holy shit.

“Hold my keg.”

And the tennis ball would have a higher IQ than the two dipshits playing.

This will probably qualify him to get his own sport radio talk show in the next week or so.

True story. 4 months ago I decided to surprise my parents by flying into town, unannounced, and spend a quality few days with them. Arrived around 10:30 in the morning, rented a car and drove to their house. Got there around 11:30 (again, in the morning), the front door was open and I walked in expecting them to be in…

Here are the quarterbacks Sanders lined up behind during his career at Detroit. Keep in mind, these are the fucking STARTING QUARTERBACKS!!!

In all fairness, it’s widely believed that the night manager at a bowling alley is the most coveted of time slots.

No. But I do use it as a rudder on my 232 foot schooner,  The Mighty Penis.

I already was proficient at that, as well as bludgeoning buffaloes and yaks.

Wow. This is great.