Incredible how bad that no-call was.

Unreal. This young woman and her family did EVERYTHING above board and with the purest of intentions. Look, we’ve all made bad decisions in our lives, but Savarese has had ample time to consider and reconsider his decision. And his decision is flat out wrong.

She certainly didn't phone in that performance.

By women? 

As much as anything, I’m left to ponder how the handlers of Bevo ever get laid, outside of Texas, without a hefty exchange of cash. I mean, look at what they’re wearing!

I had more people at my wedding than in attendance at this game, and I didn’t even invite my family, because they’re the type that would watch the First Responder Bowl on TV.

Church, Brother!

When I was four, I spent the afternoon at my best friend’s house. We were wandering around their property and found some cherry trees to climb. As we stood there surveying the best route to get to the top, I noticed some cherries on the ground among us. I pretended to put a cherry pit up my nose and dared John (we’ll…

“Well hi there, Grim Reaper. I’m a Lions fan! Here, I’d like to introduce you to my heart. There ya are....now, just go ahead and rip the motherfucker out one more time. Ok? Thanks in advance.”

Wow. He Boshed the shit outta that guy. 

That, my friend, is a very astute point. Sure we (the Lions and their “fans”) point to the Bears and the Packers, but I suppose we do so with a tinge of envy. Which is kind of sad. We actually envy Chicago and Green Bay. Green Fucking Bay. But if I’m honest, the only rivalry that exists is between the Lions and their…

I think I might have to respectfully disagree with you, my man. From the time Bobby Layne was traded to the Pittsburgh Steelers in 1958, the Lions have had the worst winning percentage of any team in the NFL. This is known as the “Curse of Bobby Layne”.

Well, now, that’s a very good question. Considering it is Detroit, my options were burning down an abandoned house, driving further north in the state and joining the Michigan Militia, stay at home and watch the game on television or killing a day by going to a game. 

I’m going to take this a step further and declare the Lions the Ass Team of All-Time. Since 1958, only 60 years for those keeping score at home, the Lions have won a TOTAL OF 1 FUCKING PLAYOFF GAME.

SHAME ON YOU! There's no reason to be sorry.

A little off topic but can somebody confirm two things about the picture above:

This is very underrated, Captain. 

Hey man, stop the hate for IV. Have you any idea the the amount of dedication and desire it took for his Dad’s sperm to swim upstream into his mother’s uterus, thus impregnating her? Same for Cadet Bone Spurs!!! Too many Haters here on Deadspin.

If you’ve ever been to Jamaica, more than likely you will be approached on the beach by man selling Heineken and Red Stripe beer. During your 2 minute transaction, you will discover that the enterprising man is also a DJ, taxi driver, amateur doctor, carpenter, farmer, retailer extraordinaire of ganj, tour guide, gray…

So until a couple days ago, he was the head coach of a professional women’s hockey team, a hockey announcer and the VP of a bank?