Fucking Debbie. She’s been wearing matching cardigan sets since kindergarten. She ran for student council president every year and never got elected. She thinks that any color of nail polish on your toes is slutty-even beige. Dolores Umbridge is her role model.

Oh, she’s definitely named Debbie. People call her Deb, and she has a wheat-blonde shoulder-length haircut and two kids. Her eldest son is the QB on his high-school football team and she’s just so damn proud!

I am a tall, athletic female. I have broad shoulders. When I had short hair, I used to refer to it as my “hey, mister, you can’t go in that washroom” haircut. There is a certain type of woman who loves to say that line. It is the same type of woman who rushes out of her house when you park in front of it to remind you…

^THIS

But also too, if these bathroom bills are enforced, it means transmen MUST use the ladies room, so how does it make sense to kick out anyone who looks too masculine?

I’ve done that at concerts, and other things, along with a bunch of my friends. No one cared.

I feel so much rage.

I remember hearing a friend tell a story about her little girl seeing a little boy naked for the first time and she got all flustered and asked “why does that boy have a chicken leg on his front butt?”

Once, my child turned to me in the store and said, very loudly, “I really love my vagina.” On one side, a woman looked shocked and upset, and on the other, an older woman was giggling and smiling.

It was a bit uncomfortable discussing it at first because we didn’t discuss anything related to “down there” in my house growing up. But I wanted to get over it because I don’t want my daughter growing up with the same hangups. So once when she was 2 or 3, her vagina was really itching, so I had her lie down, and I…

First, I have to say that I am totally against people teaching their kids cutesy words for genitals.

Front butt! That is so confusing but also hilarious.

Haha thank you. That’s good to hear sometimes, even from internet strangers, because I basically spend each day second-guessing what I’m telling her.

Ew, “flower??” OH come on.

Hahaha my husband tried getting her to say “front butt” for a while as a joke and I’m pretty happy it didn’t work, lol. That would be even harder to explain.

I typically only tango into the bathroom, maybe I should try something different.

Clearly, Target’s dangerous new policy poses a danger to wives and daughters.

Won’t someone think of the beautiful blonde children?