That Pete Wentz tweet is the honest truth. Sneezing when driving is terrifying.

I just spent 3 minutes imagining my boss’s face if I just responded with emojis.

I love NDT, but I also believe that being friends with him would be super annoying. “Ugh, there’s no parking!” “Well, actually all the atoms that make up stuff is composed of empty space. If we could re-arrange matter there would be more then enough space to park.” “I hate you."

Can you imagine watching a movie with Neil Degrasse Tyson??

“HA! Want to know why that can’t happen in real life?”
“I don’t care, Neil! Just let me watch Tangled in peace!!”

I can’t begin to tell you how much time I could save if I could use El-P’s method.

Seeing Ivanka and Melania’s legs all I can think of is this:

Anytime something regarding the negative aspects of our party system comes up, I always think of this:

Did you ever see the episode of FRIENDS where everyone was trying to name the 50 States without looking at a map and Phoebe got bored and started naming types of celery?

Counterpoint: even the smell of celery triggers my gag reflex.

oooh, no. Celery is the worst, and its flavor is so distinctive and pervasive that it infects any dish it comes close to.

Bless you, tiny child JE Reich and also you, full-grown Twitterer JE Reich.

“Next month in Bitch Planet #4: Lesbian Shower Scene!”

Daisy is adorable and now this

In his defense, seconds earlier the roadrunner ran right through the wall without a hitch.

I preferred Season 1 to Season 2 (mainly because Titus had better songs), but also really liked Tina’s role. Her turn as the alcoholic therapist was much better than her role as Marcia Clark last season.

“Is she good, or is she just tall?”

I really liked her role too! It did seem like there was a little too much of it I think. Like I wanted the show to focus a little more on Kimmy’s therapy than her relationship with her therapist.

Mikey’s nonna was possibly my favorite gag of the season.

I can’t wait to start binge-watching this! Titus is in a relationship? Tell me it’s with that hunky construction worker from season 1!

I still have a few more episodes, but do far Tituss’s relationship is so, so, satisfying. They are my favorite couple of the moment. I love how Tituss is just as much of a “project” as Mikey. And Anna Camp is freaking fantastic.