“Rogue One’s the only truly good Star Wars film this century.”

And give him some force powers, but he’s not a Jedi or a Sith. He simply has some sensitivity that he’s trained up just enough to give him an edge in battle. Break the old Light Side/Dark Side dichotomy.

Somehow, they fly now.

*Produce Guy Voice* “He’s from the other movie!”

Narrated by Sam Waterston, of course.

Maverick has to cut an F-16 open so a hypothermic Rooster can climb inside it for warmth?

Horny Quidditch (or whatever the kids are calling it these days).

“They fly still.”

On the way back to his home planet?

WHAT?!

It bothers me that, after his great work in ‘Snatch’ and ‘Spy’, Statham isn’t called on to do more comedy. Frankly, there’s just something inherently parodic about him as an action hero anyway.

Yellowfoot’s not on board.

Or heavyset, hairy gay beekeepers.

“Jason Statham IS ... the Cabinet Maker. He’s here to make sure the door handles are flush ... to HELL!”

This is the first confirmation I’ve gotten that Giamatti has ever been happy in his life. I love the guy as an actor, but joie de vivre is not the vibe I get from him.

I remember watching the scene where Ape Helena Bonham-Carter was getting frisky with one of the other apes, and just thinking, “What is the film wanting me to feel here?”

I saw that film in the cinema, and at the end audibly cried out “It’s Ape-raham Lincoln!” I’m sure I’m not the only one it the world who did.

Just cast Morgan Freeman as Rodman. No, the age doesn’t match up, but Freeman has spent his whole career playing wise, gentle figures. Let him cut loose for a bit.

This summer in ‘T Model’, Mel Gibson IS Henry Ford!

Dennis Rodman isn’t a tree, silly!