"just as much to blame?" Think about what you're saying. One person is guilty of poor judgment, and the other is guilty of beating a toddler to death. Do you really see those crimes as equal? She might be stupid and irresponsible and a shitty parent, and partly to blame, but that's not the same thing as actually…

Not to further ruin your day, but I'm a lawyer who clerked in family court for a judge assigned solely to cases of child abuse and neglect, termination of parental rights, and KLG. We had about 12 to 20 cases. Every day. Every week. In one county. With three other judges assigned to handle the same number of such…

Well....I am going to go out on a limb here and say that bringing a gift to a wedding used to be considered tacky. It is acceptable and much nicer to send the gift to the home of the bride or groom either prior to the wedding or after. It is tacky to expect either the new bride and groom or their relatives to stay…

She did bring a card, and she was planning on giving a gift later.

If you read the conversation, the attendee says she intended to gift, but after what had occurred she decided not to gift.

I can see where you're coming from, and I certainly think it's very kind to give a gift. I give gifts. But I've also been in a position where I have barely had enought to eat, and making something wasn't feasible either. I had nothing to spare. Yet I still wanted to see my friends and my family get married, support…

If you think people are obligated to cover their cost, you should be posting your invitations on Ticketmaster, not inviting friends and family.

So you are saying the ONLY way to show affection and love is to give gifts? That's a pretty materialistic attitude, if you don't mind my saying - and even if you do mind. :)

Actually, it's completely acceptable not to bring a gift or to take up to a year to give a gift. Would you force your friends with less money to buy you something? They are already giving you the gift of their presence. If you are uncomfortable not bringing a gift, then you should do so. But, a gift is not mandatory.

Graduating is actually an accomplishment, getting married isn't. I think "rewarding" getting married is kind of gross.

You equated the gift to showing love and affection, so fuck yes showing up at the wedding is a "gift" in itself. Would I bother to be there if I didn't care for you?

Yeah. If you're more excited about getting gifts than spending a day with family and friends and legally declaring your love and commitment to your partner than your priorities seem out of order. Especially so when you're demanding that friends who are broke and going through major and unexpected events that cut off…

I got married in America where I think the tradition is to give gifts from a registry, so I made a registry and a few people got us presents from it. A lot of others gave us a totally unexpected amount of cash/cheques in cards, which I didn't know was a tradition at all. And most gave us nothing as a tangible present,…

Nonsense. People should invite people to their wedding because they like them and want them there, or they are obliged to out of familial guilt (cough cough), not because they will then in turn fund the event. We got a mixture of gifts ranging from nothing, to a card, to cash, to things from our list, to things off…

No one is owed gifts.

No, showing up to a wedding is showing that affection and love. Of course, giving a gift is extra nice and all, but the real gift is that these people think you are a nice enough person that is worth spending several hours of their time on. And if someone is incapable of valuing something beyond its direct monetary…

Most etiquette guides advise not to show up with gifts but to mail them before or after so the couple or their family members aren't stuck hauling a bunch of stuff from the site.

That attitude is incredibly entitled and greedy. Are you seriously saying if you can't afford a gift, don't go to the wedding? Sorry (not sorry) but that's bullshit. Weddings are not about gifts. They're about having the people you care about witness a commitment to another person. Gifts were originally about helping…

I disagree. A marriage isn't about getting gifts, it's about publicly declaring your commitment. If I have broke friends, I'm just happy they made time to show up.

Entered into evidence, wedding pics of Mr. Smith and spouse holding a knife and cutting a cake. Obviously of low moral character since he likes to "share" his knife.