That show was ALREADY creepy.

Better add 7th Heaven to the list...

It is also more satisfying when you pretend that Brett Favre is dead.

Note: this joke is funnier if you pretend Brett Favre is from Austin. So do that.

Traffic on I-35 is raging, things are really strained on the 183 near the airport. We've got some major bulging northbound on 130 near exit 437. Meanwhile, it's just barely inching along on the Brett Favre Memorial Parkway.

"We are investigating what happened."

"We are investigating what happened".

God damn it, Lindsay.

Nope. She is definitely saying "Fuckin' hell."

Yes! Everyone but me.

Your insistence that she is screaming "fuck your mouth" would give Dr. Freud serious indigestion. And an erection.

Why did Kanye let her finish?

I once got a lengthy, PUBLIC, Facebook diatribe directed at me for not replying to a wedding invitation RSVP. I had moved recently, and the invitation didn't get forwarded to my new address.

He's near incomprehensible because he's tying himself in knots to make it sound like he's not saying what he's saying.

I am sorry your uncle was so terrible, and hope your aunt is safe from him today.

My abusive uncle actually uttered those words to my aunt. My skin just crawled into the bones.

"treating you like shit" does not make "punching her in the face" close to an appropriate response. Even if she yelled out the window that your dick is tiny and you can only get it up while looking at naked pictures of Uncle Fester..that STILL doesn't make it anything close to appropariate to punch her in the face.

first of all: no.

I hope you live alone

"Why do you make me hit you?"