God, that last one is like a Monty Python sketch. It’s ex-ice cream! It’s ice cream pining for the fjords!

I adore dogs, but I recently got my first cat (I have a long commute and it wouldn’t be fair to a dog).

I think that one deserves the full face palm mosaic.

If you read BCO regularly, you will not only discover that yes, there are people that stupid, but there are other people who will come here and attempt to justify said behavior.

“Oh, they’re a vegetarian, so they won’t eat anything that looks like meat.”

“Do you make your sandwiches with bread?”

From the farthest, smallest, last planet to the biggest, closest, first-to-be-reached dwarf/binary planet...promotion indeed!

Kerbananos, sweetest of Pluto’s moons.

A Dwarf King, you say?

I live in Maine and have actually been to this diner. I think the important thing to know about Marcy’s is that it really is a hole-in-the-wall. There are maybe 5 tables and one counter that might seat a dozen. It is tiny and cramped and hot (because the griddle is 3 feet from the counter), but the food is delicious…

You and I both know dead bodies rested on that furniture and it’s futile to believe otherwise.

Regional Restaurant Magnate, Philip Friberjibner:

Nasa has no checks and balances beyond their own system

Reason #4 — they can digest BONES! Bones go in, shit comes out. Not bone pieces, not bone grindings — they digest it all. What they can’t digest is hair, hooves, and horns - so they regurgitate those like a giant METAL AS FUCK owl pellet.

Because hyenas are fucking metal.

I once spent like an hour reading about hyena clitorises and it is always my go-to interesting fact for when I am a little bit drunk. ‘DUDE, DID YOU KNOW ABOUT HYENA GENITALS’ is generally somewhere between ‘Gregory Peck was a stone-cold fox’ and ‘Bulbasaur is the best starter Pokémon, who wants to fight me’ on my…

It always seems kind of weird to get those questions. My short friends are never asked how short they are or if they were involved in sports. I also hate when people ask why I wear high heals. My answer is usually ‘Why the fuck not?’ or ‘Have you seen these legs’ or, if I am feeling particularly saucy ‘Your insecurity…

I feel the same way on airplanes but I think the annoyed stares are mostly due to my tentacles.