Virtually any Mike Lange called game.

Jealous baby penis detected.

Yeah Drew, I’m sure that guy will be getting tons of ass at his parent’s house.

Eat shit.

Your opinion reeks of wet ass and jealousness.

Babcock’s wife also hates his empty box strategy.

According to all soccer logic, this kid will blow in approximately 6 months.

#humblebrag

Enstrom intentionally turned into that check, he just probably didn’t think his face would get fucked up. Watch the replay, he was trying to draw a penalty in the most ridiculous possibly way.

I don’t think they were yelling through cones, but that would seem a bit contrived. I remember feeling very calm, probably because of the lack of decibel levels and my obligatory pregame joint. I kinda felt like I had time traveled and was craving a stogie while having visions of Honus Wagner sliding into third with a…

The did this at a Pirates baseball game a few years ago. I think they called it ‘old time night’ or something like that. No terrible intro music, no blaring announcements, no fucking pierogi race or any other annoying distractions. It was by far the best game I’ve been to in many, many years.

Fuck video games! Are you serious with this shit? Unbelievable.

Catching wood like an 8th grader on a bumpy bus ride.

Doping official are like the town bike.

Soccer fans are more capricious and inconsistent about a given player’s ability than fans of any other sport.

I think “hot pocket” is how he refers to Ivanka. 

He was having his first two-point night in years and the scorekeeper took away an assist.

Is he drinking beard hair, wtf is in his water?

Malkin is filthier than all the whores I’ve slept with combined.

I never thought I’d read so much about other people’s wiping tacticts, but such is the state of the world. Just wipe and leave boys, just wipe and leave.