Yep. Because laser pointers cause hundreds of thousands of cases of retina damage every year. I get not shooting it in a pilots eye while landing but you realize this police force just used millions of dollars of equipment paid for by tax payers to arrest a punk kid for pointing a laser pointer. Woo hoo.

V-necks should be auto disqualified for being awful.

This is a non-issue, he disciplined his child in a manner he was disciplined. The fact that we make a HUGE deal out of this (I personally believe it is because he is black) compared to pared to parents who feed their kids shitty food which slowly kills them is beyond me. Discipline (when you are a black parents) =…

yeah lets all shame the man for finally going through a diet and exercise and dropped that unhealthy weight. Skinny-Shaming at its worst... smfh.

I asked my fiance this and she responded

“I’m crying” - then it’s probably anal

That this man is the only thing standing between Brady and six rings might be proof there is a higher power.

Eli discovered that the next tier of his cable package has channel that only shows cartoons

Swiped right, went out on a date. Then this happened after 6 months

And let’s just ignore the fact that they are all Andy’s toys. Andy, being a boy, is much more likely to have male toys. I guess they should make a post-2015 Target toy shelves, gender neutral Toy Story, right?

“Every Compelling Character In The Entire Trilogy Is Male”

If this football thing doesn’t work out, he’d be a helluva third base coach.

“Good....good”

I guess I was ahead of my time. These are the blocking and tackling techniques I employed during my very brief football career.

The last time I saw that many personlized handshakes Michael J. Fox was sending out Christmas cards.

I disagree. I think this bride _should_ confront her friend about the lack of gift, so that the bridesmaid has the opportunity to shit in a box and mail it to her, but that's just me.

Who even let you in?

For what it’s worth, a friend who has been to Lambert’s insists the rolls are so light that anyone who could injure someone with one “needs to professionally go into either baseball or murder.”

*comes to Kitchenette*