It's the vomit reflex that occurs when i eat mustard that i dislike when trying to put food in my body through the mouth.

Mustard. It hits every wrong note and no right one. I like vinegar. I like spice. I like horseradish and wasabi. I do not like yellow mustard, stone, dijon, whiskey, lumpy or creamy. As much as i hate mayo, I’ll let you pump it into every hole i have with a caulk gun before willingly consuming mustard.

Slipknot rocks!

Ok.

Huh?

I like the McDonald’s on Oklahoma that straddles the highway.

If they order off menu, tell them to leave and recommend a place that serves whatever it is they want.

Wearing them, or not, however you want without regard to the concerns of others.

You’ve convinced me with your sound reason, this brand of food is now garbage and nobody should like it anywhere for any purpose.

Ok.

No.

The only time I cook rice is for cajun food, which necessitates medium grain. Plan long grain at the worst.

You’re an asshole if your coffee order is more than five words.

The first order I ever made.

What about someone who makes too much eye contact?

Indeed, down with vitamin B!

Aioli is just mayonnaise with other shit in it.

You know, I might actually try that puffed rice idea.

Exactly! Jasmine rice is, like, the least utilitarian rice this side of brown rice. I’m a medium grain rice guy. What am I supposed to do five pounds of loose jasmine rice!?

I don’t even make rice dishes that often. I feel so burdened with this. All the worst things happen to me. I’m white, life is supposed to be…

All these bullets.