If only there were a place on the internet where Deadspin writers could go make their own website.  Too bad all the websites are taken.

Best column of the year.

Who cares about the GOP, what do her constituents have to say about it?

Make all penalties real-time voting.

Throw it over the back fence.

The good cops are probably some of the other 13,000 officers on the Chicago PD.

The good cops are probably some of the other 3000 officers on the Dallas PD.

There are plenty of these cacti. Their everywhere. Little baby ones grow like weeds in my yard.

Yeah it’s a shame that the government is digging a trench across the desert in the first place. But to make this cactus the champion of a cause is like making pine trees a cause in central Louisiana.

Why does a person act this way when playing a sport game?

Why would they?

Stuff is on the left now!!

Jim Anchower, man it’s been a long time since he rapped at me.

ETOUFEE is essentially butter gravy flavored with the Trinity and a seafood item.

I value what Use Your Brain has to say.

Fuck you, kid.
I was told that I am the future too, but by the time the future (when I was a child) became the present (now) i had to worry about you as the future.

I’m done worrying about other people’s futures.

Don’t eat in New Orleans. Drive at least 1 hour west and then look for a gas station with food in it . Eat there.

It’s a little known fact that the best commercial food in the south is in gas station diners. You see, it’s harder to get a loan for a restaraunt than it is a gas station. So a lot of country mom’s and…

You never have to agree to anything.

Women aren’t represented enough on the rosters of NFL teams.
She should have been forced to accept the offer to ensure gender distribution equality.

It’s always been acceptable. Ever since physical prowess has been the deciding factor of being beneficial to humanity this has been accepted. This will continue to be accepted until the pysical accumen of a specimen is not the deciding factor of value.

Wait a minute...”thread it through the stupid zipper”?

It’s not screwy strike zones. It’s not changing pitch locations agiainst different batters.