Geraldine Chaplin - every time I see her I remember her farting in Home for the Holidays.

IMPORTANT Q: Does anyone here actually step into the shower before turning on the faucet/shower head bc that seems crazy to me

It’s crazy because Chrissy Teigen was so open about her fertility struggles, do these people not think she’s invested in this baby?? “Took us years to conceive so now that we finally have I’m so, meh. Bring on the IQ-lowering processed foods and all da bluntz! Who cares what happens!”

I hate to break it to them, but any of the new stuff that gets found is usually pretty far from canon.

Dean McDermott (not Dylan McDermott or Dermot Mulroney)

Agreed.

I feel ya. I would have made a fantastic stoner, but I tried it twice with miserable results both times. The first time, I had a reaction very similar to the one you described. The second time, many years later, the same thing happened but it was coupled with about 5 hours of projectile vomiting. Never again.

A pretender at being Chinese,

“Like a good neighbor, state farm is there.”

- Stalin, to the Ukrainians

Dubai is what happens when you cross the feel of Las Vegas, built to the scale of Los Angeles, with the architectural style of a northern Virginia office park.

that’s what you jailbreak your phone for? terrible fonts?

Ben Affleck is taking sad late-night elevator rides alone.

See also: me discovering the “soft rag” Mr Overdrive was keeping in his camera case to clean his lens was actually an Hermès handkerchief I’d been looking for for six months.

I loved her in Freeway with Kiefer Sutherland.

I can’t wait to see how many creatures end up named after dicks and Hitler.

I didn’t want kids at my wedding but my now husband gave me a heartbroken look when I said that so I pivoted and not only welcomed kids but hired two sitters to watch the kids and we even had a playground at our venue and reminded parents to bring a change of clothes for their kids. If kids are guests every effort…

I started off hate reading it but it’s now one of my favourites just for how nuts they go with the story but still staying pretty true to the characters. It’s like the best longest running What If comic ever.

He hangs out with his CrossFit buddies, which means they probably do power snatches and deadlifts together before cracking open the Michelob lite and doing a bit of light mutual masturbation.

There was a Western Sizzlin in my college town that my roommate didn't want to go to when I suggested it, because a guy had been stabbed and killed there the evening before. It seemed like such a benign place, like the Ponderosa Steakhouses of the 80s where you slide a burnt-orange, trapezoid-shaped tray through the…