You know, a weird thought just occurred to me: maybe, and hear me out on this one, but maybe they take high school football too seriously in Texas.

“...and THAT’S why you should never be a racist, xenophobic, classist asshole.”

That’s what I do: When I want to see Americans speaking English, I go to a kebab shop.

One Direction did what?

“Are you kidding me? They’re letting them into polo now?”

Wow, your Friday nights are way more interesting than mine. Tell me more!

“The fuck is a Kinja and why does it... look like that?”

What the fuck kind of Cobra Kai is that?

I hope you’re laughing because you think I told a funny joke and not to mock me and lower me as a person. I didn’t tell any kind of joke but it’s better than the pure, vile rudeness that I fear was your intention today

It’s like the reincarnation of Haystacks Calhoun.

Modern day Sam can still get it. Step off youngster.

As a formerly clumsy kid and a currently clumsy adult, I’m just over here like

Most museums don’t even allow beverages in the galleries.

Oh God, always the pizza truthers.

Usually Bears don’t fuck up a pool until September.

Did I go through some standing stones and fall back in time to 2007? NO ONE should be wearing bandage dresses anymore.

I am a licensed inspector here in Texas, and we have monthly visits from the DPS to check us and make sure we are doing our job, properly. They notify us through messages on or Inspection terminal of any changes to a policy or additions. They check all our measuring tools, and test equipment. We have even been written…

Didn’t your colleague cover this, last week?

Planned Parenthood has prevented more abortions by providing birth control and women’s healthcare than any jackass right wing group ever has. Fuck those jerks.

ERIN AND SARAH’S MANSION IS THE SAME MANSION KOURTNEY AND SCOTT USED TO LIVE IN