It’s amazing what you can do when you have a coach who hasn’t gotten to the point where they realize if you say the right words and look the right way, you can completely check out of your job and still stay employed.

I....don’t.........I just...........see, it’s.............no, but seriously, how absolutely fucking privileged to assume the appearance and believe it’s the same thing as actually being a member of the group you worship in such a weird way. I mean, it’s awfully safe to take on the physical traits, knowing that you…

Just as a snowball will continue to gather mass and speed if it’s descent is not checked, this Admin will continue to press the boundaries of it’s racist, white Christian supremacist agenda more and more aggressively, and it’s about time we stopped seeing the worst possible images as something that can’t possibly…

Sure, Jim. Yeah, no problem. The words, when put together, have a ring to them that might be appealing to some people. It’s when you put those words together with the acts perpetrated by people holding those words as a title that they become nauseating, and by insisting that you can use the words without referencing…

“...the football fan covered in barf won.”

And, lost in all of it, was the driver meekly trying to remind everyone that he wasn’t the only Uber driver in town, and if they would just get back on the app....

Well, yeah, but it’d make more sense if she was actually still a ‘celebrity’, and I’m not talking about being the first choice for music at parties with ironic themes, in eastern European countries that just discovered western pop music, or blaring out of the radios in third world warlord’s tactical vehicles.

C’mon, Jimmy. If you sincerely believed a Repubber when he or she said that every American had a right to healthcare, and they would fight for it, that’s on you, because that’s just being naïve.

Or what happens any time you sit back and think to yourself, ‘Yeah, man, things actually are pretty good for me.’

Jesus Christ, man! If you’re bored of your hand, either buy a fleshlight or make one at home, and stop trying to make penile insertion a freakin’ death sport.

Actual physical height doesn’t matter when it comes to the Mooch, baby! The Mooch is larger than life! The Mooch combines the best of ‘70s era Las Vegas with a modern ‘sociopathic bro’ sensibility, and what you get is pure, uncut Mooch, baby, and he’s more than you, or any of us, really, can handle! (winks, finger gun)

Yeah, see, this is why we can’t seem to build up the momentum to put this Administration of Carnies out of business. Those with the pulpit say one thing, then cozy up with them at the first opportunity. And Colbert? Funny guy, unbelievably smart, and wicked with the jokes, but he’s like the big talker who caves when…

I like how the ridiculous sums of money are being spent on stadiums where the reason for them being built is an ancillary component. Come for the shopping, stay for the football!

Which pretty much sums up my reaction to my life up to this point.

Good point. By now, they’re little more than the adult equivalent of 4th graders, writing this week’s newsletter for their fan club. Like Charlie Brown and his ‘Joe Shlabotnik Fan Club News’.

It’s neat, how King, his journalistic brethren and NFL organizational types will get all lathered up about football passion, but insist on ultimate fairness, restraint, and a willingness to give second, third, fourth, fifteenth chances based on unimportant stuff, like, you know, beating the hell out of people off the…

Well, maybe it would help if a scientist with pop culture appeal would start using more direct terms about the actual threat, instead of couching the words in more dismissable descriptions that sound like a worrywart. “I’m worried” is easier to ignore than “you’ll potentially be bashing each others’ brains in for the…

That crowd looks about as excited as a group of high schoolers during a lecture on social policy.

“To protect and serve ourselves and the system that coddles us”

And thank god for ‘em! After all, the reflexive obsession to tie damn near anything in this country with the military is in shockingly short supply.