Nah, you don’t actually have to invite her, and the proof is right there in her ‘We’ll see about that’ response. You invite people to your wedding who are there to support you, on your day, as you embark upon the wonderful experience of having your relationship legally and religiously authorized and recognized. Her…

Good Right Wingers—”WE LOVE THE TROOPS SO LONG AS THEY STRONGLY CORRELATE WITH OUR VALUES!” (furiously and reflexively pens hateful posts against citizens who protest some shitty aspect of American life, saying “THEY HATE THE TROOPS!”)

This was a dangerous stunt, because without announcers, how would we know that we were watching the most decent, brave, and wonderful humans the world has produced, playing the most amazing game of all time for only the truest, most heroic of reasons, while the benevolent owners are kind enough to allow us to witness…

Well, anything they can dig up that’ll stick to this dickhead is good, but he’s got an entire system behind him that is willing, and able, to metaphorically hose him off every time he ends up covered in shit. It’s stunning how every single fail-safe designed to prevent this from happening failed, and how nothing has…

This is a damn fine metaphor for my decision-making process, and how it usually turns out for me.

This is a sell-out of a quality not usually seen outside of Equifax executives. Good job, Straw. You managed to surface just long enough to embarrass yourself before you crawl back into obscurity.

If they make the post-season, I think they should do a recreation of Hrbek’s domination of Ron Gant.

Shit. The Eagles have been my team since ‘80. I can put up with the inability to find a decent QB post-McNabb, the Chip Kelly Experience, having no championships since the Super Bowl was invented, etc, etc, and etc, but this horseshit right here is ridiculous. Lurie says he’s okay with protests, so long as they fit…

These aren’t even actual human beings. These are the constructs an alien civilization would build after they intercepted old ‘Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous’ episodes.

Jesus Christ!! Six bucks for bread?! I’d take the tags off it, too, if only because I didn’t want people to know I paid six bucks for sando bookends.

That sucks, man. These employees should just deal with their self-loathing and disappointment over ending up at Motel 6 on their own, and stop taking others down with them.

Yeah, I know his agent is supposed to be his advocate, but anything other than a meek acceptance of the fact that his client is fortunate to have a job is putting his client at considerable risk. It’s called the “I Mean, Come On! It’s Tom Savage!” strategy of client representation.

Obviously, he has no idea what the fuck he’s talking about.

Well, yeah, I mean, it sucks how Donnie hands out critical government roles to people based on their ability to somehow not make fun of his orange rind, or hair, or face that could charitably be called ‘the textbook definition of jowly’, but Ambassador to the Vatican? That’s pretty benign, and speaks more to an…

Man, the more I read, the more excited I get! I liked Destiny a lot, but the best stuff hinged on the multiplayer stuff. I don’t have, uh, many...you know....friends....

“one of the more outrageous comments that anyone could make”

I’ve spent an entire career in the helping professions, and I have purposefully avoided any work with kids. The stories are too heartbreaking, and the work would’ve destroyed whatever shreds of belief in humanity I held long before now.

“Awww, that’s great, kiddo! Keep up the good work!”, the rest of the league says patronizingly as they pat the A’s on the head.

Oh, this is merely part of MLB’s continued effort to stay relevant to the coveted 55-70 age demographic, and those that have a significantly negative outlook on young humans being on the grassy sections of their plot.

Jesus. Rich is not only proud of his stupidity, but is doubling down on it. It’s like somebody talking about something they have no concept of, and using made-up, nonsensical pseudo-words to do it.