Jesus, Alec. You knew you had to transform your game from ‘aggressively bloated ego’ to fit your older status, but you took the wrong exit and ended up unwelcome in a mature world of sensuality made awkward by your own gauzy, hazy, soft-core fantasies. I’d congratulate you on making it weird in your own, individual…

Cromartie’s a fucking lock for the lead in the ‘Dickzilla’ porn parody.

What in the actual goddamn fuck leads this dipshit to think that making a big deal out of a 400 mile wide hurricane with winds only rarely seen in recorded history is some tool of the liberal left? Jesus Christ, I can see such willful stupidity with indicators that are more vague, or that require study over a longer…

C’mon, man. This only requires a tiny bit of additional thought—the Klan, neo-Nazi, and general White Power groups prominently use this flag as part of their identity, and if you just can’t see it as a symbol of racism, you’re either not willing to, or you’re so mind-bogglingly stupid, you probably need constant…

What’s more impressive is that they made Alex Smith look like a quarterback who had heard of the concept of the ‘forward pass’.

That’s right, guys. Circle the motherfucking wagons. Whatever happens, do NOT acknowledge the idea that maybe, just maybe, every now and then, an officer or two can overstep their boundaries, get a little power-mad, and righteously fuck over a member of the public. Nope. Impossible. Every single fucking action a cop…

I was most excited about seeing Victor Garber. Everything after that was kind of a blur.

Fucking Herman, cutting corners by getting the generic, white label ‘Magical Dust Product’...

Shreveport.

Well, shit. I was expecting this to show up on that beezid site!

I had some fun playing around with color schemes and shaders the first time around, and while it’ll suck that these new ones are temporary, there’s no way I’m getting anywhere near microtransactions, because microtransactions are fucking terrible.

Christ. I think I just lost my appetite, which sucks because I was ready for a kickass breakfast. This whole thing sucks, and it’s a city’s weak-ass way to keep the cops coddled and happy, because you know they would’ve revolted had the city come down hard on this malignant tumor. I’m still waiting for the day when…

C’mon, now. I mean, it’s not like we can be infuriated with this sentient sack of medical waste and his bigotry. I’m more pissed off with why he was given air time in the first place. In short, who cares what this shitstain has to say about any goddamn thing!? His opinions are much like his entire existence—a waste of…

The Browns are the franchise equivalent of a sudden, jarring realization that your life has been completely wasted up to this point, and will never be getting any better before you die.

I saw a video recently, explaining new facets of the game that beef up the single player experience, and I gotta admit, my interest skyrocketed. I loved the first one, but I don’t have the extra time to commit to serious raiding, which was where the premium content was, and all that was left (after the playthrough)…

In all seriousness, I would invite you to visit our humble ‘burg here in NW Louisiana. New Orleans is, obviously, quite south, but not necessarily a good snapshot of what you’re looking to find. And from here (our population is around 300,000 or so), you can venture into rural areas in southern Arkansas and east Texas…

This is the exact same type of responses I got when I used to ask girls out. The outright denials, I get, but the weird references to rule violations and major league franchises were awkward.

He’s like a Wes Anderson Lite. A Wes Anderson-ish type, if you will.

Look, why do we have to fight like this? Can’t we just take a break, sit back, and enjoy this NBA Jam Simulator for what it is?

I know, I know. In a moment of weakness, I just couldn’t resist the blatant fucking stupidity. The vague stuff, I let pass. This, though, with it’s abrasive ignorance, hit me when my guard was down, and I reacted. Won’t happen again, I assure you.