Yep. I bet she was inspired to run when she was in Wal Mart that one time and saw some poor people using their Food Stamp benefits to buy something besides nutritionally enhanced sawdust. “The nerve!”, she muttered to herself, before she realized SHE was the one (patriotic music plays in background) to make a…

No.

If you list your race as one of your qualifications, you’ve basically admitted that you have no qualifications.

Curt Shilling, becoming bored with his ‘Shilling for Fascism’ venture, decided he’d get into ticket brokering...

Because it doesn’t really matter what program an immigrant comes here under; the ‘immigrant’ label is good enough for the goons to get to work. Under this admin, in this environment, subtlety, context, and restraint are in dangerously short supply.

Pretty funny how the congregation is all ‘Let’s do good!’, and as soon as they’re associated with a critical, but controversial, topic, it’s ‘Eh, not that good.’. As a collective force, they could put additional weight behind their leader and his fight, but that would be, you know, uncomfortable. Best to focus on…

Yeah, well, you can’t go around being afraid all the time. I mean, if I let my fear control me, I wouldn’t have asked one of the most popular girls in 6th grade if she wanted to ‘go’ with me. But I muttered the 6th grade version of ‘fuck it’ to myself, and asked her, and now look at me! 35 years later, still scarred…

As sad as it obviously is, and as difficult as it is for his family, I gotta think that the man is moving on to something much better than what this place is becoming.

No, there’s been a mistake. What they meant to say was “...that Melissa McCarthy’s impression of Sean Spicer brought to the...”

Potential neutral site cities: “Hey! We could be getting an NFL game! YES!”

On the one hand, it’s the random machinations of a middling major sports franchise working the roster as part of daily business.

True story—I found a small bug crawling around my tub yesterday morning. Don’t know how it got there, but without thinking, I killed it and flushed it down the drain, and got on with my day. Point is, I feel as bad for that bug as I do this subhuman slime.

Ah, but his ‘pledge’ is all it takes to get the press gleefully humping his leg and his supporters re-energized for another round of ‘The Whitening’. By the time this is over, his approval ratings will double, as will the misery.

“Well, you should just be, you know...less black.”—racists who claim that racism no longer exists, they aren’t responsible for slavery (and thus think everybody should just get over it already), who claim to have ‘lots of (insert other ethnic/racial group) friends!’, who voted for that repugnant sack for some reason…

Look, I’m not a woman, nor am I a virgin, but I would think that there’s a very real difference between a woman choosing to remain a virgin because of her religion, and one who has the choice made for them by others practicing their religion. By all accounts, Orji is content, well-adjusted, and a full participant in…

My daughter was 4 when her mother told me she had found somebody else and that we were over. We made custody arrangements that we stuck to as we waited out the mandatory 1 year separation, and neither one of us went the badmouthing route. Can’t speak for the ex, but I didn’t because I didn’t want to waste my time with…

“Shut up, dweeb! Know what it looks like to me?? Sex, baby! Flying, screaming, exploding sex! Oohhhhh yeah...”—Randy Johnson

Which is a lot like when a show starts adding characters or doing cross-overs as the ratings drop and everybody realizes the writers are out of ideas.

“In context, his comments were clearly aimed at attempting to gain compliance by using the passenger’s own statements and reasoning to avoid making an arrest.”

Meanwhile, my Pirates are happy indulging the Cubs’ recent interest in some hot BDSM action. 17 to fucking 3, man....