It’s a good idea and all, but I was just going to take a pair off of somebody and run, hoping that the split second they’re staring at the sun will disorient them long enough for a quick getaway. Hopefully, they won’t suffer permanent damage, but if they do, well, hey....free eclipse glasses!

Gross. This is the abomination you get when you breed Rudolf Hess with Tucker Carlson.

But was he elite?

That’s because sometimes Donnie likes to play with his army men, when he gets bored of his trucks.

“...because I’m pro-life.”

This, in fact, helps explain the unbelievable election of Donnie as President—for quite a while now, Repubbers have had to couch their racism in strange, vague terms that made little coherent sense, because overt racism was still considered taboo (hence all the examples shown here). But Donnie came along and said all…

Watching Bortles is like watching somebody watch somebody else doing something—you’re witnessing an event that is happening, but it has very little meaning and leaves you with nothing but the stubborn impression that you could, and should, be doing practically anything else.

Reminds me of when I asked my boss for a raise based on my “hard work” and “stellar results”.

Maybe they just had serious doubts as to whether anybody would want to see DeHaan in any sort of sexual situation.

That colossal record-scratch we just heard was millions of reactive, simplistic sports fans suddenly not knowing what to do, now that a white player has made his voice known.

I agree. We’re kinda past the point now where those who oppose racism, bigotry and other topics that get Donnie hard can just stand by and hope the angry types do their own research and eventually give up their shitty ways. If you follow it at all these days, it’s time to pick a side. Racists are more empowered today…

Yeah, I dunno, dad. I mean, I was a socially-awkward loner who couldn’t conceive of life past the next three seconds when I was that age, and I made decisions that were so dumb, I’m sure my parents were glad my basic life functions were handled by a part of the brain I had no control over, and I never came close to…

The next time Donnie is sincerely sorry and upset about the distress of another human being will be the first time.

Yeah, well, sorry, Hamno, but Spitzer (whispers)....hired prostitutes! And (sanctimonious tone) since he’s the only prominent political type who’s ever done that, he simply had to go, along with whatever lessons he could impart. We’re better off letting The System run juuuuuust like it does.

I’ve been toying with the idea that this is just as good a reason as any to consider human sacrifice to our benevolent gods, but I just don’t know....

Yeah, but even though that was a markedly different action, it still served the only purpose Donnie requires—it was part of the ‘I’m Important’ program that he’s been living since the day he gained awareness of himself.

Honestly, I don’t think this moron has any fucking idea what he’s saying anymore. Can’t we just treat him like the fancy china from here on out? Bring him out for ceremony every now and then, but otherwise just lock him away somewhere where we can’t see him and rarely, if ever, think about him?

Also, best not to talk about it during morning report with your coworkers. It gets.....awkward....

Dude isn’t wrong, although I gotta admit, the creative thinking these dipshits come up with to justify and normalize this shit is pretty impressive. If it wasn’t empowering subhuman racist filth to spew their fucked up ideology, it’d almost be funny.

Seconded.