Even though everything the man touches turns to absolute shit, he’ll always be able to serve as a throwback to the old idea that anybody can grow up to be President, regardless of talent, likeability, intelligence, grace, or practically any other positive human trait.

Yeah? Is he? Well, I just got my Platinum trophy for 100% completion of The Elder Scrolls last night! Let’s see Mr. All Star Best Ever do that! Ha! Takes a special kind of dedication to pull that one off, lemme tell ya! The kind where you’re basically willing to tell life in general to get lost....

Well, that would be to maintain another level of plausible deniability, maybe? Or a way to benefit from his employment without having to deal with the messy details of his personal behaviors? After all, behind every successful major college sports program is an Administration that takes Davis’ ‘Just win, baby’ mantra…

Seriously, did anybody think he was seriously at risk for losing his job?? We’re barely half a year into the Racial And Moral Purification program, and besides the hitch with the ‘Die Already, Impure Motherfuckers’ healthcare ‘reforms’, these fascists haven’t faced any real challenges to make them rethink their…

This reminds me of when I was a kid, and was embroiled in an ongoing feud with the bully down the street. Except I rarely got any good shots in and ended up with constant anxiety and an inability to hold solid food down until his family finally moved a year or two later. Otherwise, just like this.

I mean, what the fuck can you even say anymore? This is the biggest bunch of absolute dicks ever assembled in the history of the Executive branch of the federal government, and their ability to find replacement dicks for the dicks they get rid of is astounding. It’s like they’ve tapped a source of infinite dickishness…

Miller got the general gist of The Shawshank Redemption, but completely whiffed on the philosophy, tone, message, and, well, basically everything but the jail setting.

I’m a self-taught cinephile, and I appreciate the newer, fresher stories and perspectives that this new feminist surge has brought to Hollywood. While I hope it lasts and continues evolving, I also know that Hollywood, mistakenly thought to be some sort of liberal Utopia and almost completely bankrupt in terms of new…

Dude saves his own life with a miraculous, one-in-a-billion grab of a railing. Meanwhile, I lost my balance when I put my pants on this morning, stumbled, and smacked my cheek on the doorknob, which will leave a bruise on my face for the next two weeks.

Jesus. You have to be a special level of white to even consider the possibility that a country built on whiteness, with whiteness as it’s beating heart and soul since Day One, bent on preserving white superiority, is somehow now seeing that whiteness threatened...not by people vying for that superiority, but for…

Dude could’ve saved himself a lot of time if he would’ve just led with the ‘hey, I know people from a lot of different races, but always from a position of imposed superiority, and I always make sure they know their place’ argument.

This is what you get when you start with the bar so goddamn impossibly low that it can’t go any lower without venturing into surrealism.

Somewhere, a visibly enraged Gossage fumes about this, but in a twist nobody saw coming, he claims his belief that it’s wrong for mankind to screw with the fates bestowed upon us as we try to navigate the infinite complexities of life and the universe.

On the one hand, I mean, I guess it’s kind of good knowing that the U.S. isn’t alone in it’s xenophobic lust for intolerance of Muslims.

Jesus. I knew Gottlieb was an arrogant, self-absorbed prick, but what the fuck is he talking about?? His ‘job’ is done? What fucking job? Pointless arguing that doesn’t even qualify as shitty ‘debate’ because all it does is open a door to a possibility that doesn’t even exist, which is a possibility he pulls out of…

As a lifelong Southerner, I can tell you that the whitewashing of the reasons behind the war are the hicks’ ways of making their fucking treason sound noble or reasonable. The fact is that the CSA was gifted their rebuilding in ways that no defeated country has ever had the unbelievable fortune to know; it was…

Oh, MAN! This sounds amazing!! Instead of revisiting a tired trope involving continued subjugation, this has the potential to tell some fascinating, fresh stories from a position of strength. I’m in!

.....................yay? It’s a reheated ‘Kids Say the Darndest Things’, but with an infinitely less creepy host. Which, I mean, is good, but...

A successful Repubber with a ‘conscience’....hilarious! That’s the best joke I’ve heard all day!

No! Don’t change his name! ‘Mr. Handsome’ is awesome! I’d give damn near anything to be called that! Sincerely called that, I mean.