Bi-athlete In Sochi Arrested

That sled has a history...

This reminds me of female Russian Olympians in the 80's. Their cans were just dripping testosterone.

Waiter: Can I start you off with something to drink sir?

BoC: Excuse me, waiter, I'll have an Arnold Palmer.

*Not a Joke*

Somebody murdered my brother. Now, I'm seeking vengeance the only way I know how: by taking local businesses to task for not salting the stairs out front of their establishments and putting the health and safety of their customers at risk. Have you been hurt in a fall? Fuckin' call me, bra.

- Daddy, what do you do when you go to work?

What's amazing is how much better this is than many of the commercials that cost millions of dollars to produce (and millions more to air).

My girlfriend used the same trick to sneak into my house permanently.

Yes, because a smart, strong woman hooking up with a brave, loyal good man is obviously stupid. What was Hermione thinking? Ron is POOR. And has a sense of humor. And a strong foundation of family. God Hermione is so STUPID.

No. They're fine. What she should regret is pairing up Harry and Ginny. She was the worst. All the charm of an empty bucket.

I think people just enjoy saying Shia LaBoeuf. Try it. It rolls hilariously off the tongue.

• Please sit to use the toilet

I refuse to believe Selena would write 'U' and Justin would write 'you'.

Jesus, imagine having less common sense than a guy named Scooter.