Jesus, your job really is to just walk into the office, sit down, and ask yourself: “What can I call racist today? What have the racists done this time?”

I wish more dudes would groom simply because of how gross it is to leave your little curly inch-long pubic hairs on the urinals at work.

This is exactly why I'm a closeted fan of io9 bête noir Prometheus.

She could have done so much more with that. Color me disappointed.

Wow. I always thought she had good comedic timing, but this is the most boring prank ever.

Wow, how blunt of her.

Seriously, any dude that uses "libations" (or even worse "m'lady") who is not dressed in period-accurate reproduction clothing needs to be drawn and quartered. The Queen has so ordered.

Dude was real thirsty for some naked Mckayla Maroney.

LOL

If Derek Jeter were in these, we wouldn't have any issues fulfilling the audio verification requirement.

He runs like a Mortal Kombat character

Morello was my dude's favorite from the first scene she appeared in. He loves her accent, mostly.

SPOILER: I don't think I breathed the entire time she was in Christopher's house.

Lies Donald Sterling will tell to get over: Big penis, gift of flight, not a racist.

It's funny you say that, considering SNL used to be considered ground zero for edgy material. Now it's blander than Jay Leno most of the time.

Considering how popular articles about the New York Jets tend to be, I'd say quite a few people love a good joke.

In general, weaponized liberal outrage is a devastating resource, and we must only use it for good.

SHOCKED.

Yeah, anything that's marketed by mention of "toxins" has me running the other way, even if it's actually benign or, as in this case, potentially helpful in other ways. "Toxins" are the "bad humours" of the 21st century Western yuppie world. Ugh.

another image of the canadian beating